Should I Stay or Should I Go?

It's always tease, tease, tease...

(Sigh).

In 24 hours, I will be on a big stupid Air France plane, heading back to NYC. In case it's not entirely clear, I'm not quite ready to go. I've developed a mad crush on Berlin which has only gotten worse as my departure draws closer. The big question now is, what next? You see, I have no real job to go back to. Ethan's mom quit her job right before I left and Jack's parents had to put him in full-time day care when I extended my stay til now so umm, yeah...kinda shot myself in the foot with that one.

So no job to go back to. No love of my life to return to. No house to worry about. Seriously, my cat is the biggest attachment I have right now. So what should I do?

I'm trying to figure this all out these days. To me, Berlin and New York City are so alike in many ways. In so many respects, they have the same vibe, culture, and nightlife. However, people can actually pronounce my name here which is pretty nice. (Plus, I swear, the first part of my last name is written on some sign or poster on every block. Love it! I'm no longer the girl with the ridiculously difficult name!)

Okay, I'm digressing a bit. Point is, I adore both cities. Quite frankly, though, even with the shitty exchange rate, Berlin is much more affordable. That culture and nightlife I was speaking of? I can actually go out and enjoy it here. Not so much the case in New York City where cocktails hover at the $10 mark.

But what's a girl to do when she draws inspiration from both cities? And when she enjoys amazing friends on both continents? I have no clue.

However, I know I can't cut all ties to Berlin. Therefore, I am leaving a bag of clothes and other random items with a friend here. These are things that I can definitely live without but am I using this bag o' stuff as some kind of excuse to return? Perhaps I need a little carrot in front of my nose? Such a tease, tease, tease...oh Berlin, you've got me on my knees...

Ugh. Anyway, next time you hear from me, I'll be back on my home continent. I'll probably be writing you with Baxter the Cat at my side, snuggling with me in the ole' Brooklyn pad which is a pretty warm, cozy thought, too. So strange.

Okay, I know my German really sucks so is it appropriate to say "Bis dann" here rather than "Auf wiedersehen"? I really hope so...

xoxoxo,
Rachael