I'm Okay with Partial Success

I try hard never to refer to myself as a failure. Yet I'm having a pretty hard time saying that I am being, err, entirely successful at the moment. I'm supposed to be on day two of a five day cleanse; however, yesterday seems to have been Rachael's Very Mild Approach to Detox. (I made this decision after the hedonism that was NYEDO 2010.) Anyway, the worst part is, I've done this cleanse before. Twice. It hasn't been easy (no dairy, wheat, alcohol, caffeine, or SUGAR?!?!) but I've made it through both times and health wise, have felt quite good throughout. It's basically a whole lot of rice, legumes, veggies, and fruit. Not too exciting but doable if I can quickly throw myself out of the house before my usual post-meal cravings for chocolate/cookies/name-your-sugary-poison kick in. Yet this time, my need for sugar seems to really be getting the best of me. (And don't even get me started on the caffeine. That is just a straight up non-negotiable if I am to function at all in this world.)

Anyway, I've already cheated, sugar wise. On day one, no less. Aside from apples or pears, the cleanse says NO! to anything else sugar related. Yesterday, I worked mostly from home which seemed to have been the first problem. I was one measly room over from cookies, muffins, and other goodies. Finding myself unable to concentrate, I stomped into the kitchen and threw the baked goods into the freezer. The assumption, of course, was that if the deliciousness wasn't taunting me from the kitchen counter, I'd be okay. Right. I then thought about getting through the craving by chewing gum but my teeth and jaw are so bad these days, I knew it wasn't a good idea. So instead, I drank a whole lot of tea (lame) and then was apparently so mentally exhausted from disciplining myself that I had to take a nap. So much for getting work done.

In the evening, I did better. For a while. I stuck to the recommended dinner: two cups of steamed vegetables with one cup of rice. But I sort of cheated here, too. (I had to add soy sauce. I mean, plain veggies and rice?!) Then I caught up on some emails, got ready for bed, packed my lunch for today, and then out of nowhere, in the midst of what I thought was a near Zen-like state, I remembered the delicious chocolate chip cookie things I made for my party Saturday night. Yes, they were tucked away in the freezer but folks, these things are called "heaven logs" for God's sake! They are essentially chocolate chip cookies in log form, the tips dipped in melted chocolate and rolled in walnuts. Heaven, I tell you!

So I decided to put the failure hat on and dove in, wondering just how quickly I could possibly damage all the teeth in my mouth. Funny thing is, one cookie later, I only felt mildly bad. Mostly, I just felt satiated. And then I went to bed.

But as Miss O'Hara would say, "Tomorrow is another day" and here we are. It is now 3pm and so far, so good. No cheating (okay, I had a few raisins post-lunch, so kill me!) and I feel okay, sitting here drinking my digestion aiding ginger tea. Exactly three and a half more days. Oh wait...Katie, are we still doing dinner Friday night? Okay, so maybe three more days. I still think that's pretty good for a sweet toothin' fool like me.