Good Job, Germany!

"Rachael, what are you doing Saturday night? If you don't already have plans, you really must join us for the Eurovision contest. It's a real piece of European culture!" my German friend said, laughing into the phone the other day.

After hearing bits and pieces about this contest for the past two months, I still wasn't clear what it was actually about. I assumed it was American Idol-like but at the wedding the other night, I was quickly informed that this was no recent talent show phenomenon. This contest has been going on for fifty some years. Most people have grown up with the show, perhaps the way so many Americans watched Johnny Carson throughout the decades. However, millions of people (this show beats the Superbowl in viewership) from all over North American never sat glued to the television one night a year to see Johnny make some grand decision.

So of course I had no choice but to join these friends for a night of European "culture."

After settling down with some snacks and wine, our hostess handed each of us some paper to take notes of each performance (twenty-five performances representing twenty-five countries!!!) and rank them the way we thought Europe would choose their winner. Oh, and just to clarify, it is like American Idol in the way that people vote by phone at the end of the show. However, one major rule is that no one can vote for the performer of their own country. Therefore, a country such as Germany which is comprised of a whole lot of Turks ends up giving mucho points to Turkey.

My friends had warned me that the contest is extremely, extremely cheesy and is always guaranteed to produce a lot of laughs. Still, I was not fully prepared. WOW.

I decided that the performances fit into two categories:

a) hokier than thou love ballads (usually sung by some sort of fresh faced boy who may or may not have made it through adolescence)

or

b) crazy theatrical pop, often utilizing dancers in garish costumes along with the occasional transvestite.

Either way, though, it appeared as though everyone was stuck in 1985. Yikes.

Anyway, it was terrible. I mean, really, really terrible but in the most entertaining way. We couldn't wait to see if the next act would be more ridiculous than the last. We howled with laughter as Spain showed us dancing clowns and Moldavia produced some sort of Lady Gaga inspired bit. And the cheesiness of the kid from the UK? I was so embarrassed for him, I balled myself on the couch, practically hiding under a blanket until he was done.

But what about Germany? I was informed that Germany hadn't won in something like thirty years. (Umm, could it be because of performances such as these?) However, this year, Germany was feeling pretty good about their contender, a 19-year-old from Hannover named Lena. We all sat in shock as she performed a fun, upbeat tune in a cute black dress. No whorish looking dancers, no ridiculous transformation into butterflies, and absolutely no pyrotechnics. And despite having a somewhat unusual voice, she actually sounded, well, good.

At the end of the performances, we all cast our own votes. I assumed that Europe would go for one of those fresh faced boys so my top pick was Norway. As the votes came in though, I quickly learned that Europe much preferred crazy and slutty over innocent and sweet. Geez. But I also found out that a whole lot of Europe was digging Lena, too. My friends sat in disbelief as more and more votes came in for Germany.

Could it be possible? After how many years??

At 12:30, it was clear. Little Lena from Hannover had won. Maybe the victory doesn't meet World Cup status but I'm still seeing that it's a pretty big deal for Deutschland.

Also fun? Whichever country wins gets to host the show next year. This means that next spring, there will be another reason to party in Germany. Hmm, wonder if I will be here to partake? Regardless, I hope that they continue with Lena-like contestants because if there's any more of this, I may have no choice but to renounce my German roots.