Decision Made! (Well, one out of about 387)

Ahh, can't quite get the pessimist outta me, I guess. Anyway...

Kids, I booked a flight to Berlin.

After tossing and turning in bed for the past month, after incessantly discussing this with friends and family since I touched down at JFK, after learning that there's a good chance that there will be an apartment along with a part-time job waiting for me in Deutschland come April, I decided the other night that just perhaps I would take a looksie at airfare to Germany. Yikes! I was shocked to discover that in just a few weeks, the fare had risen $150. Come April, it skyrockets!

Suddenly, I felt compelled to make a decision right then and there. Yet, there I was, sitting alone at my laptop, no one for me to plead with for advice. I stared at Baxter. He sniffed the air. A good reminder that no one can make your decisions but you. (And also a good reminder that you probably look a little crazy when you try to stare your cat down). So as I focused on what British Airways had to offer, I started thinking about some recent comments from friends.

New York is always gonna be here. Come back when you're all done with Berlin!

This is why you should do it, Rachael...because you CAN. GO!

No offense but what's really keeping you here? Anything?

Your whole face completely brightened as you were talking about Berlin. I think that means something...

And sitting at my desk, I silently agreed. It does mean something.

An hour later, I had purchased a round trip ticket (a one way just seemed far too dramatic), leaving at the end of March. Exhilarated and terrified, I left the house and practically skipped down the street, knowing that I had at least defined the next goal for myself. Ever since I left social work three years ago, I have found myself often saying to others, "I have no idea where I will be in six months" and it's absolutely true. Maybe I have commitment issues. Maybe it's a sign of discontent. Or maybe I was a nomad in a previous life. I really have no idea. But what I know in this moment is that I have two months to take advantage of New York City and to prepare for the adventure ahead. That's a lot to cram in but I think I'm up for it.