The Night Way

21 Days Later...

2012-02-06T16:34:00.003-06:00

FINI!

My three week cleanse is officially over! Of course, the authors of this cleanse encourage you to proceed to an optional fourth week but considering that last night, I almost tap danced around the house at midnight, I don't think it's in me to continue an entirely gluten/dairy/caffeine & alcohol free lifestyle. At the same time, I have learned a few things throughout the past few weeks that have proven to be very valuable. Ready to hear about them? Come on. Like you had a choice.

Most importantly, contrary to my prediction, I did not actually die without refined sugar in my diet. This was the number one issue for me and I am extremely proud of myself for going a whole 21 days without cookies, chocolate, granola or all those other things I had been ingesting on a regular basis. Let me also add that I attended a dinner where apple pie a la mode was served. Did you hear that? Apple pie a la mode. But I passed (i.e. quickly ran out the door). Whatever. Yah for me.

Saturday night, I even pushed the envelope. I was babysitting and one of the kids and I made chocolate chip cookies. Okay, chocolate cookies are pretty much my favorite thing in life and I did not even lick a spoon. I'm telling you, it's been auto-pilot mode all the way. I cannot have that, said my brain, and that was that. Of course, this would have been a very different story had I not been able to eat fruit throughout these past weeks. I probably ate five to six servings of fruit a day to compensate for cravings which is a kind of a lot but I figured it was better to OD on berries and bananas than stick my head in the cookie batter.

So blasting sugar = victory #1.

I also am still alive sans caffeine. This was hard. So hard I almost cried a few times. I lovvvve my coffee in the morning. I love the smell, the warmth of it emptying into my belly, and of course, the little kick in the pants that the right cup can deliver. I came mighty close to stopping off and getting a cup of decaf just to fulfill my craving for the taste. However, knowing that there is a bit of caffeine even in decaf, I passed. I now have a little insight into the daily struggle of an addict. WOW.

Many people were curious about how I was doing coffeeless. I'm not sure that I have a grand conclusion. The first week was very bad and required naps. Three weeks later, I wasn't dying but I definitely still could have benefited from an afternoon siesta. Basically, I'm back to where I started with coffee. This leaves me wondering, am I not getting enough sleep at night? Is it poor sleep? Or am I simply a person who needs a late afternoon snooze and should perhaps take advantage of my awesome current work hours which allow for that?

Or do I allow myself a cup of coffee or caffeinated tea after lunch and power through the rest of the day like I normally do? I actually got to talking casually with a doctor about my cleanse and when I told him about my normal coffee intake, he scoffed. "That's not bad at all," he said. He didn't seem to believe that I could really have a major crash from a cup or two a day. Of course, this is exactly what I wanted to hear.

So here's what I've decided. After being off the bean for three weeks, the bit of caffeine in decaf could actually affect me. Plus, this would allow me to have my happy coffee drinking morning time. (See how I did that?) Problem solved? We'll see. I had a baby sized decaf this morning and must admit, I feel pretty good right now.

Getting through coffee withdrawal without killing anyone = victory #2.

It has been very interesting talking to other people about this cleanse and what their biggest challenges would be if they did the same. For some, the idea of giving up bread and butter just about sent them through the roof. For others, it's cheese and all things dairy. Then there were many like me, the ain't nothing getting between me and my ice cream cone types. But there wasn't one single person who didn't admit to some level of caffeine addiction. Hmmm.

Several people assumed I'd cheat somewhere along the way. For example, I ended up going out more than I had anticipated and alcohol was available every time. And as much as I adore a glass of red wine here and there, I did not succumb. Amazing how much money can be saved when you find yourself drinking cranberry spritzers at the bar instead! And as much as I enjoy a cocktail or a beer once in a while, it often does make me feel (and look) crappy the next day. It truly felt good to detox from the stuff.

The only time I cheated at all was when I had orange juice (not hand squeezed and probably saturated with sugar, God forbid!) at a bar while my friends enjoyed bottles of delicious Spotted Cow. I also got crazy and had a few sticks of gum along the way. It was hard to ingest all those oniony & garlicky recipes and not do something about that. Plus, who am I kidding? Gum also helped curb the sweet tooth.

Speaking of the sweet tooth, as proud as I am to have decreased my intake of sweets, I really thought by this point, my craving for them would have plummeted. Really not the case. I still crave chocolate, cookies, and all those other goodies. I'm also afraid to even open that can of worms since eating those kinds of things just make the cravings worse. Possible solution? Only allow dessert after dinner when I'm heading to bed soon after. Again, we shall see.

So now let me tell you about some of the non-food challenges of this cleanse. I never thought I'd say it but I've really missed going to the gym. Due to the decrease in calories, they recommended only light stretches and a bit of yoga. On the contrary, I love a good power yoga session and I definitely want to work up a sweat a few days a week at the gym. I'm excited to give it my all again.

I missed baking! Hence, my chocolate chip cookie making the other night. Who doesn't love a warm cookie now and then? And is that so bad? Of course not, if you can really keep it down to just one or two.

I will not miss flossing my teeth eight times a day. You think this is an exaggeration but I assure you, it is not. With all of the berries, dried fruit, nuts, spinach salads, and kale soups I ingested, I had to start carrying floss in my pocket. I considered buying stock in Oral B.

I also missed the ease of packing a can of soup for lunch on those frantic Monday mornings. Blending smoothies and trying to pack a salad with nuts and seeds and dressings on the side made things much more hectic. On the flipside, I enjoyed so many of the recipes listed. I've learned that although I will forgo carrot juice anything in my life, I will definitely be adding the Salmon with Orange-Avocado Salsa to my inventory as well as this great salad. And even though I ate 60-70 of these guys in the past three weeks (for real, they were my candy), I'll continue to nosh on them. It's always fun to get some new recipe ideas and what a bonus when they are healthy to boot.

So today I have embarked on Day 1 of freedom. My loosey goosey "craziness" has involved that tiny decaf coffee, yogurt with a bit of Kashi cereal, a cup of veggie chili, a coconut date bite, and I kid you not, a vegan "Carob Joy Chunk of Energy" from my local hippie-dippy (gotta love 'em) co-op.

One might think I am not straying too far from the cleanse. Well, rest assured that tomorrow, I will be heading out for a dinner that will hopefully include gluten, dairy, red wine, and a bit of chocolate. But I'm quite certain that this won't be every night, especially after a colleague told me that I had "willpower of steel" which was ridiculously hilarious to me at the time. But actually, her comment was inspiring. Maybe I'm not as weak as I've always considered myself to be. I went into this cleanse, not at all believing I could actually complete it. And I did it. (I also had some pretty great cheerleaders along the way. You know who you are. Thank you.) I also learned a few really valuable things about what my body needs and what it doesn't. And finally, I remembered how much I enjoy tasting rich, interesting flavors and how I love to share that experience at a dinner table with friends. For those reasons, I will not be one to completely eliminate anything from my diet. (Well, except for olives. Never had use for those olives.)

Yet, surprisingly, as much as I've been talking up having a bit fat pizza dinner, I'm not craving it at all in this moment. Instead, I'm sipping green ginger tea and still feeling quite satiated from my soup lunch. Success?

But I did buy some Spanish cheese the other day that is just sitting in my fridge, waiting to be unwrapped and devoured. Could go really well with that fresh bread a friend gave me. Give me a few hours. We'll see how the night (and that cheese) unfolds.

Good Job, Ad Execs!

2012-02-02T15:24:00.003-06:00

This pretty much sums up my life the past few weeks (albeit in a wayyyy cooler way). Except, umm, for the butter part. Yeah, really looking forward to that butter again, no matter how light it may be.

Apparently, the Universe Likes to Torture Me

2012-01-30T14:59:00.003-06:00

Did I really just a Groupon for coffee? Really? Do I need this, universe? As if I don't smell coffee everywhere I go. As if every time I open my cupboard door and get a whiff of the ground stuff, I don't practically weep. As if I didn't almost stop and buy a piping hot cup of decaf today just for the velvety taste on my tongue.

Oh dear. I'm in trouble...

Day 13!

2012-01-28T15:49:00.004-06:00

I'm still alive. I'm almost two weeks into this cleanse and I haven't gone insane with desire yet. This is good and quite surprising news. (However, I'm beginning to believe in some sort of olfactory hallucination. Can I really be smelling coffee everywhere I go??)

Last week, I wrote about my caffeine withdrawal and how I was frequently taking two-hour long afternoon naps. Yeah, I was a little lucky there. I don't know what I would have done, if I was working a 9-5 job. Probably would have pulled a George Costanza with a little under-the-desk snooze. Although I never did end up with a headache, I do believe that my colleagues may have sensed the teensiest bit of irritability from me. (Sorry about that, guys.)

I subsisted on fruits, vegetables, nuts, and oils. That was it. I had a consistent low level of hunger which helped me realize that normally, I may snack when I am stressed or bored, not because I'm actually hungry. I lost four pounds in one week.

My lack of refined sugar didn't make me crazy. If I felt a sugar craving come on, I reached for fruit (fresh or dried) and that got me through. I drank a ridiculous amount of tea, in hopes of it curbing both my coffee addiction and my sweet tooth. I cannot say that this strategy really worked but I'm happy to report that I never did break down and hit the coffee shop or ingest any goodies even though my office is a non-stop pipeline of cookies, muffins, and chocolate.

Week Two: Like a kid on Christmas Eve, I turned giddy when reading the recipes for the second week. In addition to all of the fruits and vegetables, the proteins were being stepped up. Beans? Lentils? Salmon? Something other than nuts and seeds? Woot, woot! However, when I sat down to eat a bowl of lentil soup, I could barely finish it. The stomach does indeed shrink and I must admit that it has been feeling good to be so easily satiated.

I went to bars three times this week to meet up with friends and kept my promise not to drink any alcohol, no matter what delicious sounding Hot Toddy-esque item was on the menu. Amazing how much money one saves when sipping fizzy soda water all night instead.

Naps: I don't think I've taken one all week. This is not say I haven't been tired. I've just been incredibly busy. Work, class, social events, and have I mentioned the enormous amount of time I've spent reading recipes, writing grocery lists, shopping, chopping & prepping, cooking, and packing up all of my little containers for work? It's definitely been worth it but one must put aside a significant amount of time to get the job done. Luckily, I did plan for this and made the time.

Also not so fun? Making dinner plans with friends. "Well, what can you eat, Rachael?" is a phrase that has made me feel a bit like a dolt. However, I am reminded of all of my friends with serious food allergies and find myself feeling sympathetic for them all over again.

I'm a little bummed that I'm still feeling tired but this could be attributed to various things, not just the lack of coffee. I go to work early, I had a lot on my calendar this week, and I'm not really exercising. Yeah, that's another bummer. One can't really maintain a fairly strenuous exercise routine when lowering one's daily calorie intake like this. Who knew that I would miss the gym so much? But yoga is still in the picture and this girl sure does love her yoga.

So tonight will be another test. I am soon off to an event which will not only be serving delicious cocktails but is also being catered by a wonderful crew in town. Can I refrain from nibbling on delicious little hor's d'oeuvres? I will make sure to have my broiled salmon with avocado/orange salsa for dinner before I head out. Then tomorrow, I will shop and prepare for my final week.

Although I'd like to think I could stick to some form of this diet for the long-term, I've already gotten "pizza" written on my calendar for February 6th. Pizza and coffee. And perhaps some sort of chocolate cake. Eek, back to the salmon and my tea...

Here's to health! (Did you hear the clink of my mug?)

Oh Dear God, It's That Time Again...

2012-01-19T14:53:00.008-06:00

So every December, I tell myself that I'm not going to go bananas over the holidays. I reassure myself that chocolate fudge and popcorn balls are not going extinct and that I therefore, need not inhale every sweet thing in my line of vision from Christmas Eve through New Year's Day. Of course, this mental preparation can never trump the litany of yummy things before me throughout that trying week of apple cider, taco dip, and peanut butter balls. (Yes, that's how we roll in my family.) I'd like to blame my lack of willpower on family peer pressure (one relative did try to rationalize that the peanut cluster is "sort of healthy 'cuz you know, there are nuts!") but that's just silly. I'm a grown-up. I could forgo the dessert plate for the veggie platter but...is that caramel corn I see?

The situation was compounded when I went to NYC after New Year's. Getting together with old friends of course always took place over lunch or dinner. And there may have been a few cocktails here and there. Bottom line...I was not feeling so good come January 9th when I returned from winter break. Rather, I felt pretty darn toxic.

You may recall that I've done a few mini cleanses throughout the past couple of years. These haven't been crazy lemon juice fasts. They've simply involved removing the bad stuff and replacing it with super healthy eating. Brown rice, veggies, fruits, nuts, lean proteins, that sort of thing. However, I've known for quite some time that my caffeine and sugar intake has become a problem, a problem that might need a stronger approach. A few weeks ago, I realized I was scooping double my usual amount of coffee into the brewer. Oh my God, I thought, I'm really like some junkie who has to up the amount of the drug not to get high but just to maintain.

Then there's the sugar dilemma, the dilemma being that I pretty much crave it constantly. I used to be satiated by a bit of chocolate but lately it just sends me into a scavenger hunt of all things sweet that may be lurking in the pantry. It is not good when you find yourself concocting something ridiculous with a jar of peanut butter, some Cheerios, and a bag of Craisins.

So I was ready for a bigger deal cleanse. Therefore, I was thrilled (and terrified) of Whole Living's January issue. They outlined a three week cleanse. I had never done anything beyond five days because by night five, I was usually at the tearing-open-a-package-of-cookies stage.

Yet, I thought about the three week challenge for several weeks. Could I really do this? No wheat or gluten, no dairy, no caffeine, no alcohol, no refined sugar? Would I go crazy? Would I drive others crazy with my undoubtable irritability? Would I stab someone who might be walking by with a chocolate chip cookie or a plate of lasagna? These were all things I needed to consider.

But in the end, I decided that yes, it was worth it. I was curious enough to find out how my body would feel with some of these "toxic" items removed from my diet. I told my close friends and family that going out for drinks or dinner wasn't going to happen during the next few weeks. (But hey, hit me up if you want some non-caffeinated tea!) I also had to figure out how to scale back my exercise routine considering the initial drastic decrease in calories. And finally, I had to decide how to build in some good ole' "me" time which would be used for relaxing, journaling, and more than anything, as I have quickly found out, napping.

So here I am on Day Four. I would have written about it sooner but there have been those naps, you know. Several friends have inquired about my status (probably worried that I'm locked in a closet, mumbling to myself) and I've been happy to report that I'm doing okay. Not fantastic but not terrible. I am proud of "okay". This means that I'm not jonesing for an ice cream sundae, nor am I dying for a baguette. Don't get me wrong, I am craving certain things but I seem to be on auto pilot which allows me to simply look at things as "I can have that" or "I cannot have that" and that's sort of the end of the story. This is quite surprising considering that I typically cannot swallow the final bite of a meal without immediately considering my dessert options. Perhaps it's due to the fruit that I am allowed on this cleanse that is giving me just enough sugar to not make me weep while passing the bakery counter.

More than anything, what has hit me hardest thus far is the caffeine withdrawal. Shockingly, I haven't had any major headaches like I usually do when I try to abstain. Not shockingly, I'm just soooo darn tired. And when it's -4 degrees outside, you sort of crave warm, teeth staining goodness in the morning. Tea will never give me the happy feelings that coffee does. Tea just makes me want to curl back into bed and go to sleep. But due to those minus temperatures, there's a lot of tea drinking going on around here. And if you haven't noticed, a lot of sleeping, too.

Of course, I'm also tired due to the low amount of calories I'm ingesting. This week is about veggies, fruits, and proteins in the form of nuts and oils. That's about it. I looked ahead to next week's recipes and when I saw beans and lentils listed, I almost went out of my mind with irrepressible joy. Salads and non-cream based soups get pretty darn boring fast.

But alas, I'm plowing ahead. So many people around me have been curious about how I feel. Most agree that they should take a bit of time to rethink their own diets. Interested in embarking with me? Check it out. I won't even shame you if you dip into the cookie jar once in a while.. Baby steps, friends, baby steps...

Well, Hello 2012....

2012-01-01T11:01:00.009-06:00

So last night, I bid goodbye to 2011 and welcomed 2012 with a positive attitude alongside a mug of mulled wein. Luckily, none of my fellow revelers believed in new year's resolutions so instead, we talked about what makes us hopeful about the new year. I realized I needed to reflect a bit on the past year to know what makes me hopeful for the next.

Last year was by no means a happy-go-lucky year for me. There was stress and craziness indeed. However, in addition to that chaos, there was also so such for me to be grateful for. More than anything, I am grateful to be finally making some headway in regards to that whole "stay in the moment" mantra. Goals and resolutions are good in some ways but they can so easily sabotage us into being completely dissatisfied with our current state, no matter what loveliness may lie beneath.

When I have a deadline to meet (which is ultimately contributing to my goal of having a certain amount of money in the bank) and Baxter the Cat is rubbing his cheek so hard against my laptop that I actually cannot work, I can get mighty frustrated with my little puffball friend. However, in recent months, I've made the realization that Bax is getting old and that I really must allow myself to enjoy his sweet little cat presence more. And quite honestly, considering that it's scientific proof that petting a cat lowers one's blood pressure (and for me, just makes me plain happy), it's probably worth losing a few dollars.

So yes, it's all about the small things for me this year. No doubt it was an amazing year politically. There's a reason Time magazine listed The Protester as the "Person of the Year". If it wasn't the Middle East, it was Wall Street or my backyard in Wisconsin. Even though these movements were inspiring, I wouldn't exactly call them heartwarming. They definitely didn't lower my blood pressure.

So I took stock of some of the things that did warm my heart this year, big and small. It's amazing how much came to me. I think that's a good sign for 2012, no?

First off, 2011 started off with a bang. I made the decision to pick up and move to a new city again. However, this time, my heart told me that this move was it for me and every day since then has reinforced this idea. I've made wonderful new friends, live near family, and feel inspired by the progressive nature of those around me every single day.

Later in the year, I lost my grandmother, my last remaining grandparent. Although her death was expected, it was still a huge blow to the family. What surprised me, however, was the celebration that came with her passing. Extended family that I hadn't seen in years came together to share their memories of her. The ongoing theme was her heart of gold, her relentless positive outlook on life, and her ongoing belief that all people deserved to be treated with dignity and kindness. These qualities continue to inspire me to be the best person I can be.

I've also learned to take time to celebrate time with all of my loved ones. My niece's giggle is golden and her hugs continue to make me melt. I've cherished kind letters from friends and in return, have made a concerted effort to let know others the warmth I feel toward them. I am honored to be celebrating a dear friend's pregnancy while comforting another who is losing her job in this tough economy. I am reminded how much we all need one another.

I've allowed myself to take time to enjoy art in any form whether it's an amazing photo or gorgeous lyrics that make me cry. I've gleefully expanded my music collection this year to include the stunning new Bon Iver album that I (and apparently a whole lot of other people) honestly cannot listen to enough. On the lighter side of things, I made numerous copies of The Green Album for those born in the 70s who will appreciate it the way I do. Of course, True Blood continues to release kick ass soundtracks and the last one rivals the first in awesomeness. (I dare you to listen to this track and not get up and shimmy about the room.) And speaking of dancing, as creepy as the lyrics are, this was one of the catchiest tunes of the year and quickly became my summer anthem.

Books. Well, I'm a slow reader so I haven't gotten too far there. Plus, the damn internet hijacks any of my ventures into anything that spans more than 1,000 words. On the flip side, I've read some pretty hilarious stuff this year in the form of short articles or blog posts. I was introduced to The Bloggess whose stuff I now read regularly because the woman makes me almost pee my pants on a regular basis. Any time I need an instant pick-up, I read her post about Beyonce the Chicken. I encourage you to do the same.

Want more quick links to an instant warmed heart? Check out this story about those scientists in China who dress up as pandas to best serve their charges. Want to actually squeal out loud? Then watch these video clips and listen to this tiny polar bear's cute little baby bear noises. You may just decide you need to buy a ticket to Denmark after that trip to China.

Movies? Well, I've barely seen any this year but Beginners was hands down my number one pick. You laugh, you cry, you stare at Ewan McGregor's perfect face, but mostly, you, too, just might be inspired to try to break old, destructive patterns. Gorgeous and absolutely galvanizing for the new year.

So what am I hopeful for in 2012? Quite honestly, a whole lot of the same. Staying in the moment, continuing to be grateful for those I love, the work I have during such difficult economic times, and all the small, goofy things in between that make me laugh out loud and give me faith in people.

And did I mention it's the Year of the Dragon? 2012, you may just become my favorite year yet. I hope it's yours, too. Happy New Year.

New Year's Eve, Berlin, 1989...

2011-12-31T13:06:00.002-06:00

The first after the fall of the wall....now THIS was a New Year's Eve celebration.

See, Santa?

2011-12-24T14:33:00.003-06:00

I'm not only the one concerned. You're like one gingersnap away from diabetes. Heed the doc's advice, wouldja?

Buy Some Biodegradable Poop Bags, Wouldja?

2011-12-19T20:34:00.003-06:00

When I first saw the headline in the Seattle Times that read Seattle City Council Bans Plastic Bags, I got really excited! I was going to plant a big fat one right on Seattle's kisser but then I read on and got all disappointed. How can such an eco driven city like Seattle still allow for plastic bags in so many cases, like for produce and take-out and as the writer of the article so astutely points out, "to pick up dog poop"? (Sorry, I love that a professional writer just used "poop" in a news article. Tee hee.) But let me get back to my rant. When you are cutting out only half of those plastic bags, that's not so much of a ban now, is it?

However, it is a step in the right direction of the ole' "harm reduction" model as we ex-social workers like to call it. But twenty plastic bags in a whale's stomach? Those are twenty plastic bags that didn't have to exist in the first place. (Yes, that's right, something that probably carried someone's damn soda may have contributed to the death of that majestic animal. Read the full article here.)

So here's something to add to your Christmas list. Or better yet, go straight to the resale shop and pick up a few canvas bags instead. It will cost you a whole 75 cents and your cans of beans won't fall through them. Wait...can it be? Eco friendly AND efficient? Oh, those German roots just keep popping through...

Awww!

2011-12-18T21:29:00.001-06:00

Who knew that old magazines could be so cute?

Twenty Percent is Suddenly a Ridiculously High Number

2011-12-17T12:34:00.005-06:00

A friend of mine recently made a confession to me:

"I can't help it. I really like The Biggest Loser," she practically whispered to me. "I actually watch it while I'm on the treadmill because I think, for God's sake, if that 500-pound person can run a few more minutes, I should be able to!"

And I get where she's coming from. Another friend recently told me about a marathon runner who was 76 years old. Umm, yeah...maybe I can aspire to that 5K next spring after all.

Then again, different folks, different strokes. What works me might not work for you. (And what works for the marathon runner definitely doesn't work for me.) I was just lamenting that I cannot run a decent distance on the treadmill anymore, yet (if I may toot my own horn here) I can tear it up in any cardio class for an hour straight. So what gives?

Who knows? I just keep doing whatever I can because I want to keep my body and soul in the healthiest shape possible. And although I am the first to scream that SKINNY IS NOT SYNONYMOUS WITH HEALTHY, there is indeed a weight issue in this country that needs to be addressed, especially among our children.

I came across this story the other day and was mortified by the accompanying chart. Twenty percent obesity rate among our nation's 6-11 year-olds?? That's not just appalling, it's downright scary. And as I read the story about this weight loss camp, I couldn't help but feel my heart sink slightly with every success story. Of course, I'm glad that these kids are working so hard to become physically healthy but are we really seeing teens who need to lose 100 pounds? And let's not kid ourselves. It's not as if anorexia amongst teens has plummeted and the pendulum is now swinging in the other direction. No, the "successful" Americans we are, we now have extreme weight issues on both ends of the spectrum.

And now many of us find ourselves buried under ridiculous quantities of holiday cookies and candy. It's cold and snowy and the idea of a five mile walk at 7am makes me want to throw my head under the blankets and hit the snooze button thirty-seven times. I might think of those kids and rationalize that I would be more likely to get up and go for an early morning walk if I, too, lived in North Carolina, not in the tundra that is Wisconsin. Call them reasons, call them excuses but for me, the reasons to get out of bed and stay active and healthy have just sky-rocketed. It's not just about me anymore. It's also about sending an important message to our kids that how we treat our bodies really does matter. Staying active, being cognizant of the food we are putting into our bodies, repeating the mantra, all things in moderation...now that's an amazing gift we could give to our youth.

Besides, if they can get the message out, we certainly can, too.

No Place for Ponies

2011-12-08T13:28:00.002-06:00

I am the biggest sentimental sap ever but I would shed no tears to see this tradition die. Glad to see that animal rights advocates are finally getting themselves heard in regards to this issue. Not so easy to do over those taxi horns.

Save, Spend, Save, Spend...

2011-11-26T08:48:00.003-06:00

I love the statement in this article that it is the "civic duty" of Americans to shop. Sure feels like it, doesn't it? While the insane were stampeding their fellow Americans yesterday, I played with my niece, ate leftover pie, and took a long nap. I plan to do most of my little Christmas shopping at small shops in my city and my Christmas bonus shall go directly into my savings account. Yep, apparently my German heritage strikes again.

Sorta Kinda Good News

2011-11-20T09:36:00.005-06:00

Yes, people are recycling more. Hallelujah. According to this article, Americans are at a 34 percent national recycling rate. Although I'm happy to see that more people are recycling, Americans are still producing 250 million tons of trash per year. Does anyone else think that this is insane? Almost four and a half pounds or garbage per person per day? I guess we need to rejoice in any steps forward but I'm also disheartened that we are producing more trash than we did thirty years ago. Haven't we learned anything? Consumption, consumption, consumption, the American way, is it? Maybe this holiday season is the time to turn that around. I really like these ideas and I especially like the first piece of advice on the list.

It may be the thought that counts, but a gift that the receiver does not use is simply wasted: not a very nice thought. Give material possessions only if you know the recipient well enough to pick out something they were on the cusp of getting for themselves, or which they really need and will certainly enjoy using.

Besides, as much as I'd like a new Ipod for Christmas (ahem), I'd pretty much freak out (in a good way, of course) if someone wrote me a poem or came up with a personalized playlist for me as a holiday gift. Who doesn't want to feel all tingly inside, knowing that a friend or family member took the time to really think about the person you are?

So yeah, feel free to write me a sonnet. Or give your friends a plant that can bloom throughout these cold, winter months. And of course, when in doubt, there are always cookies.

As Much as I Love You, New York...

2011-11-13T09:12:00.005-06:00

...this was part of the reason I left you.

Premature births? Autism? Depression? Anxiety? Cognitive delays? ADD? Effects on intelligence and decision making?

Folks, this research is chilling. I doubt that anyone has had to make a huge leap to the "pollution is bad for us" conclusion but some of these correlations are quite amazingly frightening. Listen to this:

"...children born to mothers living with 1,000 feet of a major road or freeway in Los Angeles, San Francisco or Sacramento were twice as likely to have autism, independent of gender, ethnicity and education level as well as maternal age, exposure to tobacco smoke or other factors."

Twice as likely??

This, too, I found fascinating:

"In New Jersey, premature births, a risk factor for cognitive delays, in areas around highway toll plazas dropped 10.8% after the introduction of E-ZPass, which eased traffic congestion and reduced exhaust fumes."

Yet another reason to carpool, take the bus, ride your bike, walk more, BE INNOVATIVE AND BUILD RAIL SYSTEMS THAT CONNECT MAJOR CITIES WHICH WILL MOST CERTAINLY PAY OFF IN THE LONG RUN INSTEAD OF GIVING THE FUNDING (AND JOBS!) AWAY (ahem), and perhaps take a full inventory of the pros and cons of where you live. I love where I live but there are some transportation issues I need to rectify. Hmmm....more on this to come.

Thank Goodness For Third Graders

2011-11-09T20:23:00.005-06:00

Amazing photo, sad story.

Ironically, I just overheard a related conversation between two 8-year-olds. In typical third grade fashion, they were in the midst of playing living room football when matters of the heart arose.

Kid #1: "Hey, if you could have one wish in the world, what would it be?"

Kids #2, without skipping a beat: "Well, I'd save all the animals from extinction...yeah, for sure...I'd save all of the animals."

Heart instantly warmed.

First Peanuts, Now Pecans...What's Next??

2011-11-07T20:49:00.002-06:00

Dudes, pie is on the line. Now if that doesn't get you riled up about climate change, I don't know what will.

Send Me to Denmark Please

2011-10-23T17:01:00.005-05:00

I've been arguing with some people for years about what I think can be a very real relationship between one's physical environment and one's happiness. Well, really, there's one person in particular I've been yelling at for some time about this. (You know who are you.) He thought all my moving around was a bit silly, that it didn't matter where I lived, that there was something within me that needed to be ironed out and that until that happened, I'd never find any peace. I never disagreed that I had stuff to deal with (who doesn't?) but I also knew that certain environments just did not feel right to me and that I needed to be in a place that felt stimulating, alive, and loving. Yes, loving, whether that meant being in close proximity to the people I care for most deeply or living in a community that seemed to genuinely care not only for me but my neighbor, too.

So then can I tell you how excited I am to hear about this book? Thank you, Mr. Buettner for making me feel a little less crazy about my position and for letting that friend of mine know that he's just, well, wrong. Heh heh...

Insert Giant Smiley Emoticon Here

2011-10-18T15:33:00.003-05:00

Today is a cloudy, chilly fall day in my neck of the woods. Some might even deem it a bit depressing as they try to galvanize themselves to do a little work when all they really want to do is wrap themselves up in a blanket, drink some tea, and drift off to siesta land. (I mean, some people might feel this way.) But then you watch this and I doubt you can feel anything but warm, sunny, and cheerful. Especially when you see that little gavel dance.

Oh, if only I had singing, dancing puppets at my disposal at any given time. (Sigh.)

Apples, the Evil Food

2011-10-17T13:51:00.003-05:00

I try to be very respectful of everyone's independence and choices in life. However, I, too, NPR often wonder whose choice it should be to eat healthy. My instant reaction to that question in your article was, don't you dare try to tell me what to put in my body! But study after study shows that the obesity epidemic in the U.S. is driving up health care costs astronomically. (Guess who's paying for the uninsured person who ends up in the ER due to a diet induced heart attack?)

And now, if I may, I'm going to vent a bit.

Is it just me or is Ms. Coleman's comment absolutely infuriating? Who on earth is complaining about apple slices? And what exactly is the message here? That if your children are "picky" eaters, let them eat all the french fries they want? Come on now, Ms. Coleman. You're not doing your boys any favors. And I doubt you are helping out the rest of us down the road either.

Maybe try a pear instead?

Let's Stay Out of Crazy Town, Shall We?

2011-10-13T21:31:00.002-05:00

When people try to tell me that animals don't have emotions, I proceed to go to Crazy Town in about...oh...0.8 seconds. It's photos like this one where the facial expression is so indicative of something so very real and raw (an expression that I unfortunately saw on the faces of many a traumatized client in my past work) that makes me want to shove it in the faces of any non-believer. Emotionless creatures? Are you kidding me?

Take THAT, Big Oil!

2011-10-04T14:52:00.002-05:00

I really like the phrase, "closing in on oil". After a less than ideal morning, this is a pretty great bit to stumble upon.

How About the Working to Live Option?

2011-09-27T16:08:00.014-05:00

It was right before I moved to Madrid that I heard the statement, "Americans live to work; the Spanish work to live." Since then, I've heard "the Spanish" replaced by "the French" or "the Europeans" or "the Mexicans", pretty much all people of any country outside of my own.

As I get older, I've realized a 40 hour work week is really not my idea of a fun time. I dare say it's unhealthy for a whole lot of people. And don't even get me started on overtime. My last professional, full-time job left me clocking at least 45 hours a week. I realize that this is normal for a lot of Americans but I hated that for almost ten hours a day (don't forget the commute!), I was away from my home, my family, my friends, my hobbies, pretty much everything that made me feel happy and alive. So I vowed never to do it again. Nothing above 35 hours, I told myself. Now, I must admit that 25 seems like a fine number.

I'm not lazy. Anyone who knows me will concur. I just believe that most Americans spend a ridiculous amount of waking hours working. And I don't think I'm going out on a limb when I say that most of this work is unfulfilling, joyless, perhaps even soul killing stuff. My God, what kind of life is this? Let me tell you. It's a very tired, cranky one where all sorts of relationships suffer, where partners feel unappreciated, parents feel guilty, kids are longing, and singletons feel pressure to work even longer hours because, well, "they don't have families to go home to". (Umm, right.)

On top of this, as this awesome article points out, the busier we are, the more we rely on services like tailoring and fast food when in actuality, we would probably feel a tremendous sense of accomplishment if we sewed that hem or cooked that sauce from scratch ourselves. In an age of butts attached to chairs and eyeballs glued to screens, is it really any mystery that more and more of us are craving time in gardens and kitchens and workshops? I believe that people do ache to be productive but what about a productivity derived from the creativity most of us don't get to use on the job?

Not only do we feel some sense of self-worth when sanding that table or potting that plant, we also might happen to feel (brace yourself) happy along the way. So what would happen if instead of the normal 40 hour work week, a person pulled a "mere" 30 hours in the office and then 5 caring for animals at the local shelter,and another 5 playing with family and friends? Call me crazy but I think some might call this balance. Too bad that American work culture seldom allows for it. Not only are there bills to pay but when jobs are already scarce, who's going to give their employer any reason to shop around? Forty (or so) hours it is.

It's a pity on so many levels, too. As Juliet Schor, the author of this article points out, not only does this kind of balance nourish our souls, it slows down the destruction of our planet. In general, the more people work, the messier lives they lead in many respects. Of course, you can certainly lead a very messy life without working a ton but something tells me that you and I are less likely to get take-out or pick a fight with someone if we walk through the door before 5pm.

I'm all about de-cluttering my life in every sense these days. Working less for me means less stuff which translates into less cleaning, less car maintenance, less dry cleaning, and maybe less vacations but also more book reading, more coffee dates, and more walks in the park on a crisp autumn day. More worthwhile time, more valuable experiences, and more treasured connections. I think I'm quite happy to make the trade.

Nooooooo!

2011-09-13T13:25:00.000-05:00

America, this picture alone should remind you that we must indeed continue to be really, really, REALLY concerned about where our food is coming from!

P.S. I love Gene K's comment at the end of the article:

"Only being able to afford beans, rice and ramen greatly reduces the potential sources of tainted food in your diet".

Beauty from Tragedy

2011-09-12T14:24:00.002-05:00

Best line of this article?

"The sustainable features in the design were intended to be viewed as a sign of hope."

In every sense.

Waste Not in Thine Cafeteria

2011-09-05T16:07:00.013-05:00

So here I go again, talking about the documentary, No Impact Man. But just for a second, okay? There is one particular scene that is so engrained in my brain, I must share. It's when Colin shows us the family's waste from the first week of their project. Do you remember this? There's like two little papery slivers in the entire waste basket. Although I am highly cognizant of my trash output and am moderately okay about the little bag that leaves my house on a weekly basis, I still feel bad knowing that I will never get close to what this guy is doing.

And then I go shopping, say at the grocery store or the local toy shop and every single time, I get really upset, seeing all of the ridiculous excess packaging slapped on pretty much everything from yogurt covered pretzels to Star Wars action figures. I also have very mixed feelings about those 100 calorie snack pouches. On one hand, I'm glad to know that people are beginning to actually see what 100 calories (basically, a decent sized afternoon snack) looks like. However, all of the plastic that goes around what is basically a handful of nuts or granola makes me a bit insane. Some time ago, I bought a few little plastic containers to ease my burgeoning insanity, which I now regularly use for those types of small snacks. (Of course, glass containers would be even more eco-friendly but I'm pretty darn klutzy.) These containers work particularly well for yogurt, considering that most of the cities I've lived in don't seem to recycle the single serving yogurt containers. Ugh.

So now that I'm in the habit of buying the big container/jar/jug of whatever foods to ration myself, it's not a big deal. However, for families, I do realize that this adds precious time to what is already a hectic day. Yet in the long run, those pre-packaged foods are not only Satan to the environment, the mere costs of them add up.

In preparation of the school year, I happened upon this website which details some of these issues. Get this, they say that "...on average, a school-age child using a disposable lunch generates 67 pounds of waste per school year. That equates to 18,76 pounds of lunch waste for just one average-size elementary school". And the price tag of disposing this school trash in my city? Approximately $81, 000 annually! When our educational system is already suffering immensely, this seems like a problem most families could tackle to ease some of the financial burden of their schools.

So what can you do? (I'm so glad you asked!) Well, first off, even though I'm focusing on meals at school, we all need to realize that a waste free lunch applies to all of us who eat lunch outside of the home, assuming of course, that you aren't eating on a paper plate at the dining room table.

Secondly, check out http://wastefreelunches.org/. And if looking at yet another website makes your head hurt, simply make an attempt to keep plastic baggies, aluminum foil, and wax paper out of the equation as often as possible. Consider buying a couple of reusable containers including one of those handy sandwich sized guys. Immediately, you are doing good for the environment while saving money. Win win! And funnily enough, when you start minimizing the pre-packaged stuff, you will notice your child's lunch becoming healthier and healthier. Makes sense, doesn't it, that all of that preserved/wrapped up/sitting-on-store-shelves-for-months-at-a-time stuff probably isn't too darn healthy?

However, it's a hard transition to make. I get it. As I've said before, I'm no saint. Part of the reason I write these posts is to remind myself of what I (single, childless, non-crazy/hectic household dwelling person) could be doing. And I'm still a sucker for granola bars, despite all of the stupid packaging that comes along with them. So I assure you, we are in this together. Need help coming up with new lunchbox ideas? Check out http://www.laptoplunches.com/ for some healthy recipes. I'm looking at them, too.

And of course, the bigger question is:

Is this all worth the time and hassle?

I definitely think so. The other great aspect of a waste-free lunch is that contrary to all of the messages crashing into our kids' brains, taking steps to reduce and re-use shows them that we do not have to live in such a disposable world. I mean, we do have some say in the matter, don't we? Soon enough, instead of emptying the remnants of their lunch boxes into the cafeteria wastebasket, they will bring silverware and perhaps a cloth napkin back home to clean. Caring for every day things is a great way to build on the all-encompassing message of taking care of our planet and of course, one another.

But back to that granola bar conundrum. It's easy, fast, and the sugar rush I "need" in the afternoon. Well, look at me, I just turned around and made my very own. (Well, maybe it was a few days ago but whatever.) Adapted from a Whole Living magazine recipe, here's my own take:

1 1/4 cups slow cooking oatmeal

1/2 cup dried fruit

1/4 cup ground flaxseed (optional)

1/4 cup nuts, coarsely chopped nuts (pistachios, pecans, walnuts, or almonds)

1/4 tsp. salt

*1/2 cup honey

*1/4 cup natural creamy peanut butter

1/2 tsp. pure vanilla extract

Sprinkling of chocolate chips

*Since I am a peanut butter addict, I use equal parts of honey and peanut butter, basically 1/3 cup and 1/3 cup.

Preheat oven to 325 F. Grease an 8-by-8 inch baking pan with canola or walnut oil. In a bowl, combine oatmeal, dried fruit, flaxseed, nuts, and salt. In a small stovetop pan, combine the honey, peanut butter, and vanilla. Cook over low to medium heat until melted. Pour over dry ingredients and stir to combine. Pat mixture into baking pan. Sprinkle chocolate chips on top. (Gee, wonder who came up with that step.) Bake for about 20-25 minutes or until edges pull away from sides of pan. Cool in pan. Ta da!

No packaging to speak of, especially when they go directly from the pan into my mouth. But my sugar addiction is a whole other topic. Enjoy, my friends, and waste not!

But We Still Hate Your Football Team

2011-09-01T15:29:00.003-05:00

I gotta admit...I often feel quite negative about the slow pace of progress. However, I am completely heartened anytime I see that the times are indeed a'changing. This action by my friendly southern neighbor might seem like common sense to many but I think it is SO HUGE! Way to go, Chicago!

Adventures in Dogland

2011-08-11T22:38:00.005-05:00

You see, I'm not so much a dog person.

And before you jump to the conclusion that I fall onto the cat side of things, well, you're actually totally right. But despite my ongoing stories about Baxter the Cat, I'm not some crazy cat lady. Let's be clear. I just happen to thoroughly enjoy the fact that Bax may or may not get off his duff to greet me at the door. I love that I can leave two days worth of food and water out for him while I head out of town for the weekend. And I really dig the fact that he has a little box tucked away in which he can pee and poo whenever he darn pleases.

So dog-sitting is always a bit of a challenge for me. Mostly, because I really do not get dogs. It's actually quite embarrassing. I mean, unless you've been living in a cave, we've all had a ridiculous amount of exposure to our canine friends. I mean, it's not like I'm trying to take care of my friend's pet chinchilla for God's sake. So why am I so stupid when it comes to this?? And before you assume that I am being hard on myself, consider the evidence of the past years:

Situation #1:

Watching dogs come in, filthy with muddy paws. Friend (thank you, Lord) there to assist:

Me: So they're going to clean themselves up, right?

Her: What do you mean?

Me: Like lick themselves off a bit?

Her: Umm, no, that would be a cat that does that.

Me: Sooooo...you're saying that I have to clean them off myself??

Her: Well, yeah. (Points to towel which owners had very pragmatically left next to the door).

Me: Oh. (Thoughts of Bax licking his paws proceed to dance through my head.)

Situation #2:

Dog approaches me with rubber bone thing. Wants to play, I assume? Trying to take it from him, he proceeds to make a scary, growling noise. I quickly determine that he wants to play tug of war. (So clever of me!) However, after about five seconds of this, the scary, guttural noise deepens. I try not to be a complete wimp and continue to play "rough" with him. (This would be the wussy pants version of anyone else's play with any sort of canine.) I very soon ascertain that hyped up, playful dog = scaring the bejesus out of me. I assume he is about to eat my hand off and give up. Then, I find myself actually trying to verbalize my phobia to this two-year-old pup.

"You see, I used to be a social worker and there were all sorts of scary dogs that would come to the door and make those kinds of noises. And even worse. I mean, they were often there to protect...stuff, ya know what I'm saying'? I'm sorry, this is just sort of PTSD-like for me. I'm just gonna have to stop now."

Non-crazy cat lady turns just plain crazy?

Situation #3

Am I really picking up poop at 6:50 in the morning before an ounce of caffeine has entered my system? And did Dog #1 actually just pee on Dog #2? I can't wrap my head around any of this and want desperately to return to bed. Instead, I go to work in a fog of oblivion.

Situation #4

I have clearly been working with young children for too long. As I try to put a collar and leash on an incredibly excited barely adult Lab, I find myself once again trying to explain how his misbehavior is not going to allow us to reach our mutual goal. Naturally, things get ramped up when I have a large creature jumping about and slobbering on me.

"WE CAN'T GO FOR A WALK IF THIS IS THE WAY YOU ARE GOING TO ACT!"

Again, the sun is barely up. I wonder if God hates me.

Situation #5:

Does anyone ever feel that their shoulder is honest to God about to be dislocated while "walking" the dog? I hate running and I'm not coordinated enough to bike while taking the dog out so my only option is to power walk, short of a jog. Undoubtedly, I've become the neighbors' morning entertainment. If it's not me getting dragged by their living room window that makes them chuckle, I'm sure that my expression of utter disgust each time my newspaper sleeve encased hand dips down to retrieve poop will give them a good laugh over their morning cup of joe. Your welcome.

Situation #6

Last night as I was in the process of getting my arm ripped off, my energizer bunny friend and I suddenly heard a child crying across the street. It sounded as though someone was simply over-tired and protesting bed time. Having taken care of a ton of cranky kids in my life, it barely even registered in my brain. Yet my canine friend stopped in his tracks, cocking his head in the child's direction. Those big brown eyes showed such care and concern for someone he didn't even know but so dearly wanted to protect that my heart just melted right there on the sidewalk. I realized once again that I truly don't understand dogs one bit. And sometimes, I guess, that's a-okay.

I Scream, You Scream, We All Scream About Fried Butter

2011-08-07T20:12:00.006-05:00

I was all set to write some sort of sarcastic bit about the fried butter "treat" (yes, you heard me) that was apparently all the rage at the Wisconsin State Fair this year. I was going to point out how the organizers of the state fair apparently don't think Wisconsin's got enough obesity related health problems to contend with. I was then going to assure you that I'm no rigid health nut and can most definitely appreciate deep fried goodness (as in the delectable fried cheese curd) once in a while but that it doesn't seem especially wise to encourage such highly and deeply (as in deeply fried) unhealthy foods. For me, it's on par with those twenty ounce porterhouse steaks. Just, blech.

I was about to write all sorts of things about mass consumption in some of its ugliest forms when I chose to check in with the news first. I opened NPR's home page and this is what I saw. Now granted, I was already sort of on a rampage about our culture's constant demand for excess everything but this image about put me over the edge.

And yes, I get it. Fried butter. Ha ha, those crazy fair go-ers. Rachael, lighten up, it's all in ridiculous fun. But sometimes, I just can't find the humor in the absurdity of it all. While some people actually scout out ways to treat their bodies to the most ridiculous forms of excess, there are those on the other side of the globe, searching for the bare minimum to simply keep their bodies functioning.

So yes, famine in Somalia? Rather important. Fried fat? Not so much.

Oh, Nuts!

2011-07-31T21:58:00.005-05:00

So it all started with the peanuts.

I am my father's child. Like a little squirrel, how I love nuts. Almonds, cashews, walnuts, peanuts, the whole lot of them. If I follow in my dad's footsteps, people will start giving me those neatly divided plastic trays of assorted nuts as Christmas gifts and I will be just tickled with that. Did you hear that? I'd be really happy with that.

Anyway, as protein packed and heart healthy as they are, nuts also pack a significant calorie punch. I was thinking about this the other day as I reached for yet another handful of peanuts, definitely the least healthy of them all. Considering I got them from the bulk goods section of the co-op, I didn't have that little square of nutritional information handy. (And I should add that I really have no business buying anything in bulk since I can never judge quantity which results in checking out with $14 worth of peanuts. For the love of God).

Maybe I should see how many calories I'm actually ingesting with these little buggers, I thought. I hopped online, did some searching and found this wonderful website, calorie100.com. I'm a super visual person so the cantaloupe to remote/Sun Chips to IPhone (7.5 chips equals 100 calories??) photos are very useful. Plus, I realized that I wasn't doing too bad with the ole' peanut intake. Hooray!

Yes, pictures are good, no? Even when the visual is just mentioned, it can really have an impact. A while back, I had read that your protein at a meal (for most people, this means meat) should be no bigger than a deck of cards. Well, la-di-da, that queen of diamonds visual has really stuck with me. It's also a good reminder just how out of control the American food industry has gotten with its portion sizes. Hard to blame the typical American for gaining weight when "normal" eating habits and food portions have been so horrifically skewed. I will now NOT talk about how Europeans really seem to have it together when it comes to forming a perfectly satiating, one scoop ice cream cone or a respectfully caffeinated, yet non-Venti cup of coffee.

But I will stop. You and I know better. But of course, engraining that image of your IPhone or TV remote into your brain can't hurt either.

Thank You, Mr. President

2011-07-29T06:55:00.003-05:00

I've got to admit that I've been pretty disappointed by Obama's lack of aggressiveness in regards to environmental issues. However, this is pretty darn great.

Come On, Wisconsin! REALLY??

2011-07-26T16:07:00.001-05:00

I thought Wisconsinites were too frugal to fall into this trap. Must be all those darn UW students.

I Am Totally Justified in Feeling Sorry for Myself

2011-07-18T21:14:00.004-05:00

Act of Torture #1: Here in the Midwest, Mother Earth has decided to give us a good five day stretch of record breaking heat. Tomorrow's heat index is predicted to reach 110 degrees. We are only winding down Day Two. However, by some wild stroke of luck, a relative gave me an extra window a/c unit which is now churning out enough cool air to make me stop sweating. (Trust me, my environmentally guilt ridden self will assure you that it's on the absolute lowest setting, "cooling" my entire apartment.)

Act of Torture #2: Due to the insane humidity, I cannot hang my clothes to dry like I usually do. I must use the despised dryer. Do you know what it's like to take hot, piping clothes out of the dryer when you are already covered in sweat in your claustrophobic basement?

Act of Torture #3: There is no ice cream in the house.

Act of Torture #4: Hot laptop on well...lap.

Act of Torture #5: I already need a haircut. Now we have a dew point of 70. Guess what my hair looks like. Baxter the Cat's mane is looking better than mine. And he licks his.

Act of Torture #6: I cannot bake that rhubarb pie. Well, I could but I might as well just light myself on fire.

Act of Torture #7: My summer long ice cream addiction (all in the name of cooling off, mind you) has now resulted in me only being able to fit into a quarter of my summer wardrobe. Thank God for skirts with elastic waistbands.

Act of Torture #8: The mass quantities of water I am consuming is now resulting in pee breaks every 30 seconds opposed to the usual ten minute intervals.

Torture #9: Heat like this makes me crabby and sort of hate people. You gotta problem with that?

Torture #10: Heat also makes me incredibly lazy. I am literally staring at a to-do list a mile long. Yet, all I do is stare at it. It is an absolute wonder that I am typing.

And a Masochistic Act of Torture: Back to the hair subject. Is there anything worse than a hair dryer? Wait...I'm not quite hot enough, let me blow hot air directly onto my scalp. And let me do this while I sip my morning coffee. I am so, so stupid sometimes.

I may not be justified in being stupid but I am in feeling sorry for myself, right? This, coming from a girl who slept with a bag of (initially frozen) peas the other night. You are welcome to feel sorry for me, too. I never turn sympathy away. Or a turtle sundae. Just sayin'.

Brooklyn, Don't Make Me Miss You Any More Please

2011-07-17T18:43:00.004-05:00

Ick.

It's something like 91 degrees outside right now and my hair has been doing crazy things, mostly laying very unattractively flat to my head. 'Tis the season for people to either be holed up in their homes in front of the A/C or sitting on a patio somewhere, sucking down a few. I live in Wisconsin where beer is regularly consumed no matter what the season. However, I'm thinking that it's probably on the rise on a day like today. So have you ever wondered which breweries are doing the best on the sustainable front? Me neither. (I know, for shame.) But I came across this article and I will give a major "WOOT, WOOT!" to Brooklyn. I never knew that the Brooklyn Brewing Company operated a 100% wind operated facility. How cool is that? And there are several other companies doing awesome things. Click, learn, and drive safely, my friends.

Good Lord...

2011-07-11T18:56:00.003-05:00

I understand how the financial challenges of taking the environmentally friendly route can sometimes cause one to hesitate before making that decision. But who in the world is seriously against doing good for the environment while also saving money? Well, apparently there are those proposing the BULB bill. Again, I shake my head..

Hot Damn, Do I Love the Internet!

2011-07-10T17:01:00.004-05:00

I've had a hair dryer in the trunk of my car for about six months now. Of course, I keep forgetting about it until I do some massive Target run and then as I'm throwing all my crap into the back, I scream to myself, "For the love of God, just DEAL with this!"

So I don't normally play taxi for my small electronic friends. After having my super handy, engineer/carpenter/electrician father look at it and deem it dead, I've been trying to figure out where I can recycle the darn thing. I refuse to put anything electronic into my regular garbage. After watching No Impact Man months ago, I still feel immense guilt for the teeny bag of trash that leaves my house every week.

But anyway, I was just hopping around some of my favorite eco websites and look what happens when you jump on earth911.org. You're instantly greeted by a "Find Recycling Center For..." tab! I almost smooched my screen. (I have the feeling that the folks in this coffee shop wouldn't even notice either). Unfortunately, my friends at www.earth911.org didn't have an exact match for my hair dryer situation but they kindly offered me other possible solutions which I play to explore.

Oh, internet, how I love thee.

But I Love Mashed Potatoes!

2011-06-30T15:09:00.001-05:00

Bummer. I knew they weren't great for us but soooo bad? Luckily, I love me some almonds.

A Wal-Mart Precedent I Can Get Behind

2011-06-26T08:06:00.005-05:00

Do you ever get to the point where you feel like your city, state, country, or planet for that matter is going to hell in a handbasket right before your very eyes? Well, that's sort of how I was feeling earlier this week so I purposely began to avoid the headlines. (Regardless, it's rather difficult not to hear about a certain local court justice who just couldn't keep his hands off of his colleague's neck.)

But at the moment, I am sitting down with a cup of coffee and the Sunday paper in front of me and feeling kind of all right about things. New York's recent decision to allow all consenting adults who are in love to marry? Awesome. And on a more local front, I was pleased to come across this article about what area retailers are doing to reduce their carbon footprint. What's especially pleasing to me is knowing that these steps are no doubt driven at least partially by consumers who are beginning to demand that their retailers be more environmentally sustainable. Just when you begin to think, but I'm only one person, what can it possibly matter, you realize that it really does.

How Long Can $45 Possibly Last?

2011-06-19T09:07:00.008-05:00

A friend recently wrote this as her Facebook status:

HolyMarymotherofGod. $60?!? To fill up a Civic? I need smelling salts and/or a paper bag to breathe into - STAT.

I had to laugh because just moments before, I was having a similar pump-side freak out with my little Ford Focus. With the way gas prices have been steadily increasing the past few years, you'd think we'd be used to the "shock" by now. But no.

Clearly, I don't wish financial strife upon anyone, myself included. However, I can't help but see the positive side of this bank breaking situation. People may admit to a problem (in this case, the ongoing reliance of Americans on their cars) but until they feel it on the wallet, they may not actually do anything about it. There are always too many other things to worry about. However, I think that the tide is turning.

I am thrilled that some of those non-lumber/machinery toting, truck driving Americans are trading in their F150s for smaller, more fuel efficient cars. Others are beginning to realize that they don't need a bus to transport their two children. And how about those folks who are getting more serious about carpools, mass transit, and actually making their kids walk a few blocks? Hello, insta-response to the child obesity epidemic! Besides, don't we love killing two birds with one stone?

Even I, who believe me, has NO room for increased spending in the budget can't help but see the advantages of paying $45 at the gas pump. Always challenging myself to live more efficiently and healthfully, I find myself challenged by these numbers. How long can I last on one tank of gas? What can I do to drive as little as possible? I've been lucky that most of my work takes place at home. I might drive to a work place twice a week. Could I take the bus there? I actually don't think so which makes me very sad. Could I bike there? Well, that is a distance to aspire to. Plus, there's that small matter of not actually having a bike yet. (Another goal for this year.)

Already pretty darn organized when it comes to running errands, I'm now super duper organized. If I'm heading to the west side to visit a friend, I think about everything I can possibly accomplish along the way. If I end up forgetting about a stop, I think about the actual necessity of that errand. Can it wait a few weeks until the next big run? Usually, it can. And then there are the things I can accomplish locally. I'm so glad that among other places, I can walk to the bank, the library, my favorite coffee shop, and the grocery store. (Again, two birds with one stone. I love when a simple errand can result in getting crap done while also burning a few calories!)

But I'm no saint. Sometimes, I don't love walking everywhere, especially in the harsh elements of Wisconsin weather. Other times, I can only think about the time I am "wasting", knowing that a 20 minute walk could also be a quick, five minute drive. But in my world of ALWAYS HAVING TO BE PRODUCTIVE, I am the person who needs a kick in the pants to slow down and literally stop and smell and the roses. This, you can't do so well when going 40 mph. But during a leisurely stroll to the grocery store, I have literally found myself doing this. Oh, and another advantage of leaving the car at home? No annoying parking issues, hooray!

Now don't get me wrong. I used to live in the middle of rural American. I know that a car is a necessity for many. Unfortunately for most Americans, it really is, especially when government officials decide to pass up amazing mass transit opportunities. But I digress.

Now that summer is upon us, I am reminded that I adore nothing more than short road trips with the windows down. But guess what? There will be very little of that happening this summer. Friends, if I can't walk to your place, we will have to take turns visiting one another. Fam? Same goes for you.

Speaking of travel, I've realized that as much as I love to travel around the world, I have contributed to some major fuel usage and I feel sort of guilty and hypocritical about that. I'm not saying that everyone should stay home for the rest of their lives. In fact, I feel pretty strongly that people should get out and see how different parts of the world work. However, there is something to be said about taking stock of what's happening in your own region, your city, your neighborhood, maybe even your backyard. My sisters and I spent our summers catching toads and making mud pies in the backyard. And if we weren't mucking around in the dirt, we were still together. We jumped rope, played Barbies, watched re-runs of Gilligan's Island, and quite frankly, got to know one another pretty darn well which I'm afraid some kids today aren't doing.

Wait, is it possible to kill four birds with one stone? Could cutting back on our fuel intake mean more money in the wallet, a cleaner environment, healthier bodies, and more opportunities to actually sit down and get to know one another? Oh, and then there's that little matter of decreasing our reliance on foreign fuel sources. Five birds?? Score!

So on this Father's Day, I will make a phone call instead of a visit. And that's okay. As someone who helped teach me much about being practical and efficient, he will be the first to understand. Plus, I think he'd be pretty darn impressed that I made one tank of gas last over three weeks. I know I am.

Nice, Google!

2011-06-14T10:16:00.002-05:00

I love it when a dollar is well spent. Thanks, Google.

Something to Tuck Inside Your Grocery Bag

2011-06-13T09:26:00.002-05:00

I totally understand that eating a completely organic diet is not feasible during tight times. BELIEVE ME, I get it. But just the phrase, "dirty dozen", makes me shiver. So it's nice to know which fruits and veggies are more of an organic buying priority and which might be okay to buy in the ole', run of the mill produce section.

And seriously, who knew that apples were so darn dirty?

Box O'Goodness

2011-06-08T14:42:00.005-05:00

I have to admit that part of the reason I haven't jumped on the CSA bandwagon is due to my fear of wasting glorious, fresh food. Thank goodness for guides like this. Plus, I never realized how good a box of food could look! Seriously, all of the recipes listed here sound wonderful and nothing seems crazy, difficult to make although I really could do without pickled carrots (or pickled anything for that matter). But Maple-Oatmeal Fruit Crisp? Believe me, once the thermometer in my apartment tells me it's not completely masochistic to turn the oven on again, I will be putting together this crispy goodness.

The Peanut Has Now Left the Building

2011-05-31T08:02:00.008-05:00

My sis and three-year-old peanut niece came to visit me over the holiday weekend. When they arrived, my niece threw her arms around my neck and gave me such a tight squeeze that I literally started to lose oxygen.

"Okay, honey," I gasped, never thinking I'd actually have to peel her arms from my body. "What do you think you'd like to do today?"

She grinned and her eyes crinkled with excitement. "You wanna go to da pawk wid me??" she squealed.

My sister, already exhausted from the drive alone, said to me, "Yes indeed, we drove all the way here to go to a park," and then laughed and shook her head.

I convinced my niece to hit the park later and soon, we were off an running. Despite a few hours of crappy weather, the weekend went off without a hitch. There was the zoo, pizza and ice cream, the children's museum, and a general wandering around in the "big" city streets which my niece found fascinating. At one point, she took off running on a patio, got caught up on her darling new flip flops and completely wiped out. Considering that this kid can walk into a brick wall without crying, we knew we were in trouble when the wailing erupted. Sure enough, a bloody knee.

Two minutes later, when the knee had gotten mommy's kiss and the tears had subsided, she was off again. Unfortunately, the same exact thing happened again. My poor sweet girl.

Shortly after in the car, my always observant niece caught the reflection of my face in the rearview mirror.

"Why you got a sad face, Waitzel?" she asked from the back seat.

"Well, I guess I feel sad that you hurt yourself," I said.

"Don't be sad," she said. (Did I detect a sing-songy motherly tone?) "I not sad. I happy so you be happy, too, k?"

In the front seat, my sister and I looked at one another with the same exact look on our faces. How did we get so lucky to have this kid in our lives?

"Okay, honey," I said, smiling. "'I'm happy. You're right. There's so much for us to be happy about."

An hour later, I was waving goodbye to them, trying not to feel crushed about their departure. Instead, I focused on the peanut's sweet face in her car seat and her exclamation of, "LOOK! I WEAR MY PRINCESS JAMMIES HOME!"

After all, if she's happy, I'm happy. Before she came into my life, I never knew that aunties could feel such a bond with their nieces and nephews. I'm not talking about the stereotypical I adore this kid so much that I'm gonna spoil the crap out of her every time I see her kind of love. I'm talking about the I'm gonna move back to Wisconsin to see her grow up kind of love.

The past year has been really, really crazy but also incredibly enlightening. It wasn't easy for me to leave New York or Berlin but my decision is reinforced every day. I am indeed learning what is really important to me and that little blonde girl with the bloody knee might just top the list. Not only is she an absolute joy to be around but her simple words of wisdom are completely inspiring to me.

Can't wait for visit #2. Stay tuned for The Return of the Peanut.

Playing in the Dirt

2011-05-22T18:24:00.004-05:00

"I came home soaking wet and covered in dirt," I giggled to my sister on the phone.

As country girls who often spent summer days picking peas and summer nights playing with the garden hose, my sissies and I know all about being wet and dirty. And I must admit that I was having flashbacks of all of this during yesterday's volunteer event. I was helping install garden beds for a local environmental group. As part of the wood chip team, with pitch fork in hand, I dug from a steaming heap of wood chips, throwing piles of the stuff in wheelbarrows, and then carting it over to be placed in garden beds alongside heaps of compost. Did I mention that it rained most of the time?

I only did this for an hour and a half but within that time, I managed to get drenched by rain and come away awfully dirty. I honestly don't remember the last time I got into the dirt like that. I was only slightly embarrassed later when I stepped out of the car in front of my apartment, hair slicked to my head, boots caked with mud, and streaks of dirt all over clothes.

I've done a whole of volunteer work in my life but never did I feel such a back-to-basics sort of appreciation for what I was doing. The whole project is geared toward getting kids engaged in horticulture and environmental work so I can't help but think if I felt this appreciation in a couple hours of work, it will become engrained in them, too. I was also ecstatic to see all the kids that parents brought along to help in our endeavor. One little girl picked up a shovel next to me and announced, "I love to dig!" and then she got right to work, literally digging in.

Can't wait to see her reaction once the plants start to bloom. And I can't help but admit that I'm pretty darn excited to see that, too. And maybe play with the worms. Ahh, summer....

Don't Freak!

2011-05-19T07:53:00.003-05:00

I first shuddered to hear this topic on NPR's Fresh Air but once I got into the story, I had to agree with the writer on several points. What's grosser? Meat grown from a few cells in a lab or that which is grown under horrible factory farm conditions, only to eventually end up in our mouths?

And the Results...

2011-05-14T08:00:00.011-05:00

So the week didn't go exactly as planned. Here's why.

I think if I had followed the cleanse more strictly with no cheats at all, it may have been a different story. My cheats, as I mentioned previously, were dried fruit and gum. Oh, and soy sauce. (The whole plain veggies and rice thing for dinner makes one want to poke her eyes out with a fork by night #3.) Although these don't sound like terrible additions, I think that the added salt and sweets gave my palate a taste of what it was really missing and made things worse. This was exactly what I was trying to avoid and I seemed to instead, really have sabotaged myself.

Diet wise, I can't say that the week was a roaring success and I'm not just talking about giving in to my sugar cravings the past two nights. I'm disappointed that two of the five days, I felt extreme fatigue during the afternoons, something I had completely avoided when I initially enacted this cleanse a few years ago. I'm a bit confused as to why this hit me just a few of the five days. Was it even food related? Did my cheats get the best of my body? Or had I just not gotten a good night's sleep before? Was I particularly stressed those days? It's hard to tell.

Although I did end up missing sugar, I found giving up bread quite easy. This is probably because I've already been slowly decreasing its existence in my diet throughout the years. And last night as I thought about what I wanted to eat once I was off the cleanse, I was surprised that my brain wasn't dreaming of chocolate croissants. No, more than anything I was craving orange juice, my Kashi cereal, and milk. (And of course, pizza.) I think this is pretty good for a girl who just six days ago managed to get a decent amount of chocolate in with every meal.

But more than anything, I missed the ability to taste different flavors. I love to cook and experiment, especially at the end of the day and having to trade that in every night for a standard meal of rice and veggies about made me crazy. On the flip side, having a strict diet obviously helps you stay on course. During times of stress, it's easy to reach for a bag of Skittles but when you remind yourself that you've had your cup of protein, your cup of rice, and your cup of veggies for lunch and that there is absolutely no need for afternoon snacking, it can get you back on track. You might instead walk to your co-worker's office and chat about what is actually stressing you out.

I also found it mighty handy to actually remove all the sugary snacks from the house. I know that sounds painfully obvious but it wasn't to me. Yet sometimes just opening my pantry and seeing those cookies sends a message to my brain that seconds ago, was not even there. I currently have a bag of goodies stashed in my car trunk. Amazingly, aside from last night, I didn't think about those snacks at all this week. Truly out of sight and out of mind.

However, I'm not sure that it's good to hit the point of really feeling like you are denying yourself. Perhaps the other night if I had given in and eaten a cup of sorbet, I would've actually ingested less calories than all of that stupid dried fruit I munched on. Plus, maybe I would have actually felt satiated. I'm not sure.

Today, with everything fair game, I ended up not having the healthiest of days. (Shocking). What is surprising, however, is that first and foremost, I was craving savory things. I had farm fresh eggs for breakfast and for lunch, I wanted nothing more than fake meat tacos. (??) However, my taste buds could barely handle the salt of them. As for the sweets, I had my remaining Trader Joe's chocolate sorbet (a half cup at only 120 calories, hooray!) and later, a Snickers "egg" from my easter basket. Oh, and a couple spoonfuls of peanut butter. Man, have I missed my peanut butter. Not quite the same as my organic apples but I do feel satisfied.

And now I just got back from the co-op with next week's load of veggies and fruit. I know we all lament about the expense of eating healthy foods but my grocery bill for the past week was ridiculously low. Yes, I bought organic fruit and veggies. However, when the rest of your meals are based on rice, beans, and oatmeal, you can get by on $20 for the week. Not bad. It's amazing how much you can cut from your grocery bill by simply cutting out meat.

So I have to admit that chronicling my experiences this week really did spur me to make the right choices (for the most part). Oh, the power of shame! But seriously, there's a reason all those health gurus tell you to enlist a partner. We might not always be able to tell ourselves that we are worth it but we can certainly encourage one another and maybe somewhere along the way, we'll start to believe it for ourselves.

I can tell you this. Even though I didn't do as well as I had hoped to this week, I have given myself credit for what I did accomplish. And as I was jamming out to my tunes on the treadmill this afternoon, I caught myself smiling. This week, I took steps to make myself both physically and spiritually healthier and today, I could actually feel the results in every ounce of my being. Everything was going to be okay. I was good. And despite it being a cold, rainy day, the whole world seemed pretty okay to me, too. And you know what? Tomorrow looks even better.

I Want a Snickers Blizzard!!

2011-05-13T22:04:00.000-05:00

Okay, now I'm starting to get to Crazyland.

Again, the whole day was fine (although after five days straight of oatmeal with blueberries, I don't think I'll ever eat it again) until the post-dinner hour. First off, after a long week, I really enjoy cooking a nice meal for myself once Friday night rolls around. So of course, I was irritated by my boring-as-hell veggie/rice combo again.

Then, there was the package in the mail. I received a care package from my sweet auntie that included some nice house warming type goodies along with the requisite candy stash. (If you came from this family, you'd understand.) I immediately put it away, thinking, tomorrow.

After dinner, I immediately shoved gum in my mouth. I had made some tea but that was annoying me, too. I considered completely blowing the five day goal I had set for myself and throwing myself into the chocolate sorbet in the freezer. I didn't but I did have another handful of granola. I opened the fridge to see if there was any fruit left but there wasn't. I saw the carton of orange juice and almost cried. I had never seen anything so appealing in my life. But I passed.

Tomorrow.

Damn Pizza

2011-05-12T21:44:00.001-05:00

Today I woke up with every intention of having a better day. For the most part, I did. I was very busy and didn't have time to think about my cravings all that much. But when I finally collapsed on the couch tonight with my my pile of mail, I found a stack of ads and coupons for every single pizza joint within a ten mile radius. I should also mention that both yesterday and today, I again found myself in off-site work settings where the employees at each place happened to be having pizza parties. Suddenly, I wanted nothing more than to ditch my rice and beans for that greasy cheesy, tomatoey bread. But I didn't. I was pretty darn good actually.

But for some reason, after dinner tonight, my sweet tooth really started to whimper. The boredom I was feeling about the dried fruit was starting to make me insane and wreak havoc on my digestive system. I found that it wasn't so hard for me to get past it during the day. I could finish my lunch with no huge desire to round out the meal with a piece of chocolate. By mid afternoon when the sugar levels were falling, I'd crave an apple immensely but nothing more. And quite frankly, I'm amazed by how satisfying that crisp apple has been.

Yet for some reason, the end of today was different. I broke and tossed a handful of granola in my mouth. I had made the granola myself the week before so I knew there wasn't a ton of sugar in it but still, I cheated and gave myself he sugar I was trying so very hard to avoid. I'm beginning to wonder if the sugar in the dried fruit is enough to get me going. Hmmm....

One more day. I've already decided to order pizza Saturday.

Wednesday

2011-05-11T22:13:00.002-05:00

So this proved to be perhaps the worst week to do this "cleanse". Yet again, I ended up working away from home which made lunch difficult. I didn't know exactly where I was going to be during the lunch hour so once again, I left the tupperware of rice and beans at home. Then, a colleague who so graciously wanted to thank me for my help asked if she could take me out for lunch.

"Sure!" (I never, ever refuse lunch). "Where?"

"Do you like curry?" she asked.

How could I refuse? Again, curry isn't exactly following the plain rice/beans/veggie formula I'm supposed to have for lunch, nor is it on my cheat list. However, I rationalized that it could be much worse. So off we went.

My colleague ended up ordering for us and I was only half listening when she asked if I wanted Thai sweet tea. I honestly just heard "tea" so I agreed.

Holy sweetness. How have I missed this my life and when can I have more? Even she remarked how I was sucking that glass of sweet tea down.

Needless to say, the whole lunch was delicious but I knew that I was screwing up my day. To make up for it, I grabbed my grubby clothes after work and headed straight to the gym. An hour later, on some sort of endorphin induced high, I rejoiced in the realization that I wasn't really craving any sweets at all. Yah! Having just had a good work out, however, I was very much craving salt. Normally, I go straight for the Wheat-Thins. (I know, I know but it's my one super processed addiction.) Instead of the crackers, I just added a bit more soy sauce to my veggies and rice. Almost immediately following my dinner, I regretted my choice. I wanted nothing more than to balance the taste of salt with a dose of something sweet. Oh, oh.

I went to my usual stash of apricots and almonds. I'm not sure if it was due to my work out or due to my boredom with this snack but I ended up munching on way more of those buggers before bed than I had intended. Oops.

Can tomorrow be a do-over please? (Sigh.)

Day #2, No Gum!

2011-05-10T22:00:00.000-05:00

But a beer instead.

Okay, I'm not totally proud of that but let me tell you, this is way more about cutting out sugary foods than anything else. One measly PBR doesn't really bother me.

So the day went pretty well. This, despite being in an office environment for part of the day where a loaf of homemade cinnamon raisin bread and chocolate cake taunted me in the break room down the hall. I had a commitment over the lunch hour which meant eating out, something I hated to do. However, I was able to find a salad with tuna to at least meet the veggie and protein requirement. Despite a non gluten lunch, I still got pretty tired in the afternoon. I'm not sure what this was about.

Snacks were again, a few dried apricots, almonds and an apple. For dinner, the standard one cup of rice, two cups of veggies. Then there was that late evening beer. (Spring has finally sprung in Wisconsin, people. It was a perfect night for a beer with friends!)

Amazingly, I don't feel the urge to tear open into that box of Thin Mints in the cupboard. Maybe that will hit me tomorrow? I'm not sure but I'm happy with this one day at a time thing. Here's hoping to another successful day!

Operation Sugarless, Day #1

2011-05-09T22:00:00.003-05:00

So not a total failure. Actually, I didn't go beyond my cheats so I guess I'll consider it a quasi-successful day. Here's how the day went:

Woke up with terrific shoulder pain due to sleeping on the couch. (Not sure what I am more obsessed with at the moment, this diet or the cat pee issue. Furthermore, I hate that the I just used the words "diet" and "cat pee" in the same sentence. Ick.)

7am: Oatmeal with blueberries along with coffee for breakfast. (Coffee is supposed to be a no-no but quite frankly, if there is one thing in this world I will proclaim a steadfast allegiance to, it's my morning dark roast. Just try to pry it out of my hands.)

10:00am: Pear with a few almonds.

11:30am: I decide that the weather's crap, my diet's painfully boring already, and that I therefore, deserve to go out for lunch. I pick a neighborhood cafe I've been meaning to try. I check out the menu online first and decide that their veggie chili will be perfect.

12:30pm: Arrive at cute, local lunch joint and am greeted by a mercilessly packed pastry case as soon as I walk in. When the waitress asks me what I'd like to try, I consider bashing my head against the glass case. Instead, I sit down, eat my chili and later walk out without crying. I am so proud. But then I realize two hours later, the chili wasn't enough.

1:30pm: Gum. (Sigh.)

3:00pm. See, the chili wasn't beany enough. Delicious but more veg than bean and a person needs protein to get through the day. So I have some carrots and hummus. Oh, and my ginger tea.

5:00pm: More gum. With sugar or sugarless, afternoons are rough.

6:30pm: Rice and veggies. Ginger tea afterward.

9:00pm: Handful of dried apricots and a couple of almonds.

So not so bad really. I really wish I could've done without the gum but maybe I can make that tomorrow's goal. Speaking of, tomorrow will be a bit rough because I have a commitment over the lunch hour. What's a girl to do? Not sure yet. Will report back.

Oh, and another part of this "cleanse" involves getting adequate sleep so off...I...go. Zzzz...

Leaving Sugarland

2011-05-08T19:58:00.004-05:00

Okay, I have to say it so I actually do it. Sometimes we have to make grand announcements about our goals just so we feel somewhat accountable, right? I really doubt that anyone's going to give a damn whether I ingest sugar this week but come on, I need to know that you will shame me if I fail, okay??

So every once in a while, I do a baby cleanse. I refer to it as "baby" because it's pretty darn mild compared to those juice or raw diet only deals. I mean, it's basically fruits, vegetables, rice, and beans. A whole lot of people sustain on only this all the time. So why is it SO HARD for me?

Well, because, as I mentioned in my recent cookie post, I've got a serious sugar issue. I may not sit down with a bag of sweet tarts (in fact, I hate that kind of sugar) but it is such a challenge for me to end a meal without popping something sweet (and preferably rich) into my mouth. In the past, I thought that one little Hershey Kiss was all I needed. However, I'm now realizing that this tiny bit of sweetness just ramps my palate up and then I spend the rest of the day, trying to stave off the continual sweet tooth cravings. That, my friend, can mess with one's concentration, especially when one works a just few feet from the pantry door. And if you think I'm exaggerating, just know that as a kid, I would sneak into the kitchen, snatch the bottle of Hershey's syrup from the fridge, and squirt that chocolatey goodness straight into my mouth.

You get me now? Something has got to give.

My goal is small to many but gigantic to me. No sweets for five days. Why five days? Because the work week is one thing, the weekend is another for God's sake.

The other reason I am getting off the sweets is to experiment with my fatigue issues once again. I'm quite certain that gluten does me bad but I'm now wondering how much sugar plays into the mix as well. Best example: the post-brunch/maple syrup pancake coma. Yikes!

Therefore, for the next five days, my diet will consist of oatmeal with berries for breakfast, beans, rice, and veggies for lunch, and rice and veggies only for dinner. In between, I'll have snacks of fruit, nuts, veggies, and hummus. After lunch and dinner, I digest with ginger tea. For a girl who ate popcorn, onion rings, and half a cheese board for dinner the other night, you can see the challenge.

Before any type of cleanse, I seem to enjoy completely putting my body through the wringer the day before. A last hurrah of sorts because, you know, I'm never going to eat again. And let me remind you that I started my day at the crack of dawn with the cat-pee-on-the-new-mattress situation so I pretty much decided with the rising sun that this was going to be a day of as much comfort food as necessary.

I started off with a healthy bowl of oatmeal and berries but by the time I hit the co-op mid-morning and walked by the bakery case, I quickly veered off track. A handsome chocolate croissant winked at me, I swear. I took that little guy home, cut him in half and sat down with him and a cup of my coffee. Two seconds later, I went back for the second half. Later, I did have a sensible lunch but now I'm gearing up for dinner which will consist of a big fat bowl of some sort of pasta (after this beer). I might top things off with that leftover chocolate ice cream sprinkled with some nuts and Hershey's syrup. (Yep, still an addict.) But we'll see.

So I will be posting my progress this week. Of course, the fatigue issue might be hard to measure considering I will be sleeping on the couch while my mattress expels the pee odor. Oh, and I almost forgot, so I don't look like a total failure from the get-go, I'm allowing myself some cheats! I know, I know, already? But seriously, I've got to have a teeny weeny out if I start going crazy from withdrawal or something. I've already gotten rid of all the candy/cookie type stuff in the house, which are now in the trunk of my car (!) but I am allowing myself dried fruit and if totally necessary, gum. But I have to admit, the gum addiction is another one I'm trying to break. Between my night time jaw clenching and my nerve calming gum chewing, I've wreaked absolute havoc on my teeth and gums. Ask my dentist.

So wish me luck, kids. I remember hearing about those people who gave up sweets for lent and I was absolutely green with envy. I mean, how long is lent? A lifetime??

Okay, I'm done with the drama. Time to make the last supper. Report #1 coming up tomorrow night.

All Sorts of Mommies!

2011-05-08T07:47:00.006-05:00

Even though I've changed a ton of diapers, wiped many a snotty nose, and refereed more sibling arguments over who's got the legos now than I care to remember, I will not pretend to know what it's like to have children of my own. And now let me take the time to give a shout out to the mothers out there: Happy, Happy Mother's Day to you! May a day of complete adoration be coming your way.

But this morning, at approximately 6:17, I got thinking about other kinds of mommies. Like, you know, pet mommies. We may not be cleaning up snotty noses (although some of us have), but I can guarantee we've cleaned up our share of pee and poop and given lots of cuddles along the way.

I'm not sure if I made a grand announcement of it but a few months ago, Baxter the Cat and I were reunited. Hooray! Although under somewhat stressful conditions, it all worked out and I was thrilled to get my baby back. Bax and I have been through a lot together and I definitely continue to feel badly for everything I've put him the old guy through: three different foster homes while I traveled, several unfriendly cat (and some dog) roommates, and a long drive out to NYC. Oh, and there was also that traumatic plane ride. Like a lot of mommies out there, I have my guilt issues.

But this morning, Baxter certainly gave it back to me. I woke up feeling a bit, um, moist. Considering that I have some pretty whacked out dreams that literally wake me up in a cold sweat, I assumed this was what had happened. But then I thought, wow, my back is really sweaty. That's odd. And then I noticed that my blankets were wet, too. And within seconds, I caught a whiff.

Pee. And let me be clear here, cat pee.

Never have I jumped out of bed at 6:17 in the morning like this. I tore off the covers and started patting my bed (which, of course, is the fun about pee issues. You get to feel it all out). Cursing under my breath, I couldn't believe my fantastic luck. After years of sleeping on beds handed down from family members, I finally purchased the first bed of my entire life just two months ago. Brand, spanking new.

To add insult to injury, just a few nights ago, I had whipped the mattress cover off, deeming it too lumpy and uncomfortable. The man's voice from the furniture voice went through my head: Can I suggest a mattress cover? These are especially great for any pet accidents. I held my head high and said, "My cat never, ever has those kind of accidents. No thank you."

And until this morning, he hadn't. Bax isn't even a typical pee-outside-the-box-cuz-I'm-mad-at-you cat. That's what makes Baxter so cool. He's atypical.

But as I poured Nature's Miracle (which by the way, is the most amazing stain remover ever and also goes under the name Petastic) over a third of my brand new bed, madder at myself than at him, I suddenly felt very scared.

Oh my God, is he sick? I wondered. Isn't this one of those typical first signs of a pet being terminally ill? All week, I had noticed that he was acting a bit strange. Clingy, actually, and I started having flashbacks to my nanny days when the little ones I cared for went through those very trying stages of wanting to physically attach to you at all times. Even though I do a lot of work from home, Bax has been my shadow. I can't pet him enough. I can't rub that belly enough. I can't offer my lap enough. All of this made me wonder, am I losing my baby?

Two hours later with the washer whirring, I can't say that the idea isn't out of my mind. However, after getting out of the shower, I noticed the litter box under the bathroom sink. Due to Baxter's ability to scatter cat litter like no one's business, I recently changed brands. Well, and also because I'm not a fan of the clay litter. When we lived in Brooklyn, I had made the switch to the pine pellet litter and it worked just fine. Plus I felt a lot better, knowing that I was using something that so much better for the environment.

So just last night, the old litter went out and the new stuff went in. Since Bax is a lot like his mama, running to the bathroom every five minutes, I should have noticed last night that he hadn't used it at all. And he still hasn't even after I locked him in there for ten minutes when I had my early dawn cat pee clean-up related tantrum. Apparently he's no longer used the pine and I need to adjust.

Now as I sip my coffee and wait for the pet supply store to open, Bax is sleeping across from me like a little angel on his favorite rocking chair. In a few minutes, I'll have to go down to change the laundry. I can't help but think about the many times I've changed crib sheets late at night or plunked kids directly in the bath tub due to those messes made. As un-fun as that all was, part of me smiles to think about it. Not only is there something so rewarding about taking care of others, I also learned that my abilities sometimes know no bounds. I'd always known that I was good with children but it wasn't until recent years that I realized the extent of my patience and joy when interacting with little ones. I guess this applies to my fuzzy little friends, too.

So many of us spend an exorbitant amount of time taking care of others. Mothers tend to be on some astronomical level where this is concerned. This is due to love, to instinct, and sometimes, sheer social expectations. But I hope that today, all of the mommies out there can do a little something special to take care of themselves. And I really, really hope none of you have to start your day cleaning up bodily fluids of any kind. Here's hoping!

Happy Mother's Day!

Damn, I Make Some Good Cookies

2011-05-07T09:55:00.002-05:00

Yes, indeed I do.

Some of you darlings already know this, having been on the receiving end of my baking frenzy ways. (You may now begin to count your lucky stars). You've gotten the gamut, haven't you? Peanut butter, molasses, short bread, double chocolate chunk, and oatmeal raisin, just to name a few. Some of you have even gotten a wee bit demanding through the years. I recently got crap from a friend who after receiving a lovely gift from me said, "I really just wanted you to make me those ginger cookies."

So yes, I will toot my own horn here. I don't give myself a lot of credit for much although in addition to my cookie baking skills, I am an awesome parallel parker. (That's what a high school career with an '81 Chevette without power steering will do you.) But before I get even more off track, my point in writing this post is not to go on about what an awesome cookie maker I am. Rather, I'd just like to share a little bit of good news on the Tollhouse Chocolate Chip Cookie front.

First off, let me just say that the recipe on that yellow bag has been engrained into my brain since my round tummy 4th grader days. My mom had an alarming amount in faith that her daughters wouldn't burn the house down so oftentimes when she wasn't around, I would whip up a batch of my favorite cookies if I so desired. Years later, when I lived in Madrid, I introduced my host family to this little baked dollop of heaven, only to discover that I had truly unleashed something. Spain has got a whole lot of awesome food to offer but cookies are not this nation's strong point. So while I let my host mother stick to her amazing croqueta making ways, I ended up baking an incredible number of cookies on a regular basis for a family that much to my chagrin, remained amazingly fit.

However, it wasn't until a few years ago, as I dumped all that sugar over those two sticks of butter that it occurred to me how crazy unhealthy these little blobs of chocolately goodness really are. So I began to experiment.

First, I tried to decrease the amount of butter by combining it with a bit of that fake butter/ yogurt spread stuff. WRONG! Yes, any baker with half a brain would know not to do this. I mean, the cookies were okay but they came out cake-like. Unable to go back to the regular recipe, however, I stopped making them altogether. For years, people. It was a dark chapter in Rachael's cookie making history.

Then recently, while visiting my parents, I found a jar of chocolate chunk cookies (yes, my mom prefers the chunks, bless her heart) that she and my niece made together. As I bit into one, I swore I heard angels singing. How had I forgotten that my mom is the ultimate master of the chocolate chip cookie? I voiced this thought to her at which point, she let me in on her secret: "Sometimes along with the butter, I use a little lard."

Some things, you just do not want to know.

So I'm not sure what came over me the other day while I was grocery shopping but I inexplicably grabbed a bag of chocolate chips and threw them in the cart. A few days later, I decided in the middle of a Tuesday afternoon that it was the most opportune time to whip up a batch of my ultimate favorite food.

Out came the bag of chips. Then out came the butter. (I wasn't even going to mess around with that ingredient this time around.) Then I checked my cupboards for sugar. I barely ever use refined white sugar anymore. However, the recipe calls for 3/4 cup of the stuff along with 3/4 cup of brown sugar. One and a half cups of sugar for 40 dinky cookies?? I started to compute the amount of sugar I've probably consumed throughout the years in all sorts of foods. No wonder I can't finish any meal without wanting to shove a chunk of chocolate into my mouth or at the very least, a stick of gum. I've practically been shooting sugar into my veins for years.

While rummaging thorugh the pantry, I found white sugar, raw sugar, and brown sugar. (That's right, I may not have milk or bread in the house but I have three kinds of sugar sitting around.) I decided to wing it: 1/4 cup white sugar, 1/4 cup raw sugar, and 1/2 cup brown sugar.

In total, I decreased the sugar by a half cup, using 2/3 of what the recipe calls for. I also added less than a cup of chocolate chips. (The recipe calls for two!) When I tested the batter, I thought, not bad. However, the smell that wafted from my kitchen ten minutes later helped me realize that I had definitely done something right. It was such a delicious aroma that when I whipped open the oven door a few minutes later, my self-control left back in the other room, I blew on one of those babies for half a second before throwing it into my mouth.

Su-PERB. Just like the cookies of my pre-high school/who-gives-a-crap-about-my-figure days.

Now I'm not going to say I can trump my mom's cookies. In my book, she is the number one cookie maker and I am her lowly apprentice. However, considering that I didn't use lard and that I barely used any refined sugar at all makes me feel pretty good. Granted, I'm not suggesting that you trade in your broccoli for these butter bits but isn't it great to see the small steps we can take to healthier living by just experimenting a bit?

And P.S. It's not just me who thought the cookies were divine. I packaged some up and mailed them to a friend. I think the word she used to describe them was "amazing." Kind of like my parallel parking skills.

Caffeinate Me Up!

2011-04-22T14:23:00.003-05:00

See? What was I just telling you about bringing in your own cup?!? Good things happen! All right, all right, I've got to give Starbucks some credit. And you betcha I'm heading there before my long drive tonight. Gulp, gulp. (Because I don't know the appropriate sound effect for teeth staining.)

Happy, Happy Earth Day!

2011-04-22T10:32:00.005-05:00

We all know what Kermit said. However, as wise as The Frog is, I don't think that being green is really that difficult. Of course, what constitutes being green for one can be completely different for another, right? Never using plastic bags versus living without electricity are a wee bit different. But let's face it, unless you're No Impact Man, we all have quite a bit of work ahead of us. So today, on this dreary Earth Day (is Mother Earth actually crying???), let's all try to take some steps in a greener direction, shall we?

Some simple tips:

- Make a real, concerted effort to say "no" to the plastic bag.

Okay, this is an ongoing rant for me. Yet, ironically (and hypocritically of me), I occasionally find myself making an unplanned stop at Target and needing one of those damn bags. (Other times, I have punished myself for my shortsightedness and gone bag-less which has resulted in a juggling act of toothpaste, cat litter, and a bunch of other crap I undoubtedly dropped on the way to the parking lot.) My point is, I think we all know that these things darn bags are bad for the earth. If you have a car, it's pretty easy to throw a few canvas bags in the trunk for those regular trips to the store. There is also this marvelous little guy. Tragically, I recently lost mine and need to get myself a new one ASAP. (P.S. My birthday is coming up). This thing takes up very little room in my purse and is great for vegetables from the farmer's market. Barely weighs a thing.

- Get yourself a thermos or travel mug pronto.

Again, especially easy if you travel by car but also not a big deal to link onto your backpack or messenger bag if you walk/bike/mass transit yourself to work. Plus, a lot of coffee places are now giving you a few cents back if you bring your own mug and why wouldn't they? Saves them money at the end of the day, too.

- Give the dryer a rest.

Dryers use a crazy amount of energy and they certainly add to the electric bill. For $30, you can get a couple of drying racks and save some cash in the long run. Or think about installing an outdoor clothesline. There is nothing better than snuggling into bed on a summer's night and smelling your clean, fresh, line dried sheets. And the other awesome thing about drying racks? If you live in a climate like Wisconsin's which is insanely cold and dry in the winters, you will be adding moisture to the air. (Plus, your clothes will dry LIKE THAT.) So let me recap: saving energy, saving money, and no need for a humidifier. Ta da!

- Wash your clothes in cold.

Cut down on using warm and hot water. It is rarely ever necessary. And of course, don't run the washer unless you've got a full load.

- Ditch the harsh chemicals and befriend vinegar and baking soda.

There are a ton of ways you can clean with these two agents alone. Check it out. Plus it's so cheap!

- Stop eating Bessie.

As I write these very words, I know there is a good chance that over the Easter weekend, I will attend a cook-out and partake in meat consumption because God knows I love a juicy burger now and then. However, 99% of the time, I don't. Not only do I no longer feel good about eating animals whose origins and treatment are unknown to me, the environmental damage of our meat industry is monstrous. I would add a link here to back up my claim but there are about a bajillion out there so do a little google search if you'd like to learn more. Cutting back on your meat intake will not only do wonders for your health, it will undoubtedly do good for the earth. Trust me.

And there are, of course, many others things that we need to remind ourselves of. Turn off the lights! Unplug! Buy in bulk! Buy locally and seasonally! Use your reusable containers instead of buying teeny individual sized anything! Stop at St. Vinny's or Goodwill before Target to see if they've got what you need! Set up clothing exchanges between friends and families! Start asking your local cafes and shops where their recyclable bins are located so they'll start to get the hint that you care! And if you want more ideas, check out this link.

It's all about taking steps. We all have to start somewhere. Even though I feel pretty good about the way I treat the earth, I wonder why it is that I still don't have a bike. (Sigh.) Yes, steps. And if your first step is making a hippie move and hugging a tree, go for it. I hear they still like that, too.

I'm All About Toxic Love Stories

2011-04-21T13:14:00.003-05:00

Ah, don't you just love it when your hormones are messed with in a non-natural I-NEED-CHOCOLATE-RIGHT-NOW kind of way? And aside from what plastics might be doing to our bodies, I absolutely cringe when I think about the environmental effects of all that unnecessary packaging and those godforsaken grocery bags.

So of course, in my completely nerdy way, I absolutely cannot wait to read this book. Because of course, as you know, I'm all for the uplifting stuff.

Wasn't I JUST Wearing My Flannel?

2011-04-12T07:16:00.008-05:00

Yes, it's been a while, hasn't it? What can I say? With weddings and birthday parties and the like, I guess I've been busy feeling a little old.

Birthday are one thing. Do I love the fact that my dear friends are now hitting those really significant numbers? Not so much but it's a fact of life. I can deal. But weddings? They're not necessarily in the cards for everyone and I'm fine with that, especially when it comes to people I helped raise.

It's strange enough when your friends start getting married but when a person you used to buy Play-Doh for suddenly shoots you a glossy, purple and white wedding invitation in the mail one day, it kind of makes you want to wrap up the most giant Play-Doh pack you can find (maybe even the prized hair salon kit) instead of actually going off of the registry and buying them that Cuisinart juicer. Because really, all you can you think is, how can she be heading off to the altar when I've still yet to buy a piece of brand new furniture in my life?

Sigh.

And I thought I had hit rock bottom a few months ago when I had heard that Pearl Jam's Ten album turns twenty this year. (Ironically, their album was released a mere two weeks after this girl was born.)

Double sigh.

I mean, do I really have to deal with the fact that my beloved grunge band (who caused my dear friend and I to waste hours of Physics class time figuring out the words to "Even Flow" instead of trying to determine when those two damn trains traveling at different speeds would actually meet) and my beloved girl are getting kind of old themselves?

What really kills me though is that I'm just on the cusp. I know that in the next few years, all of my "little" cousins will start with these invitations, too and I will suddenly turn into that relative who can't help but make reference to the day when I used to change their diapers because quite honestly, it really does feel like just yesterday.

On the bright side, it feels pretty wonderful to see a beautiful, beaming bride make her way down the aisle and know you had a little something to do with here she is today. I guess that's the trade-off for feeling like a dinosaur. I think I can take it. And maybe the next time I'm dealing with a bridal gift registry, I'll go ahead and buy one of those juicers for myself, too. After all, if they're becoming real deal adults, I guess I can be one, too.

Give Others Clean Water, Eat Out!

2011-03-23T13:08:00.002-05:00

Okay, you never have to twist my arm to go out for dinner. Now here's an even better reason to get out and stimulate the economy. Quick, you only have until March 26th! But of course, you can donate directly to UNICEF at any time. Glug, glug, glug....

Save Tovan!

2011-03-20T17:44:00.007-05:00

I've sort of just had it. I know, I know, it's hard to know what exactly is making one crazy these days with so many options to choose from but today I'm going to holler about the recent rash of animal cruelty cases in Wisconsin.

Despite my background in social work and psychology, I still sometimes find myself wanting to scream, "What is WRONG with people??" For example, while I was visiting my family over the weekend, I learned about a current court case involving a group of teens who had met online for the sole purpose of running around the north woods, shooting and torturing small animals for sport. Really, guys? And in the same area, flyers have been posted for some sicko who is wanted by the authorities for torturing two cats. (In both scenarios, however, I am heartened to learn that the authorities are involved).

As a former child welfare social worker who often found myself freaking out when trying to protect children from future abuse and neglect ("How can the law not be on their side?!"), you can probably see why I eventually had to leave the field. I mean, a person's emotional capacity is only so big. However, I, like most human beings do care about my fellow man as well as all of the other amazing creatures of our world. So when I was made aware of Tovan, the Great Dane, I felt compelled to pass the word along.

Clearly abused, a couple found Tovan in their yard and took him in. Soon after contacting the authorities, his owners came forward and he was returned "home." (I use that term loosely since "home", in my opinion, is a place where one is loved and nurtured but I digress.) Anyway, the people who found him are now circulating a petition to force an investigation in regards to Tovan's "care." So please take a moment and check out this link. Perhaps you can help to protect one of our creatures. "Great" or small, they all need our help.

And If You Forget Your Reusable Cup, Go For Paper

2011-03-16T18:07:00.003-05:00

I've got a whole lot to say about a whole lot of things these days. But I often find myself so fired up, I don't even know where to begin. Hence, it's been rather silent here at The Night Way.

But as I sit here, eating my veggie stir fry and perusing The New York Times, I am trying really hard not to have yet another hissy fit. But I have some words, simple and quite obvious ones, I think, but I will verbalize them nonetheless: Styrofoam is never, EVER a good idea.

And I will stop there.

WWBD?

2011-03-06T22:37:00.003-06:00

Oh, indeed, "What Would Bob Do?"

The New York Times has been covering the events of Madison quite closely. I found this article particularly interesting. Cool old pics, too!

On Wisconsin

2011-03-01T19:01:00.007-06:00

Last summer, in the midst of all of my European traveling craziness, I suddenly ached for the simpler, slower life I had back in Wisconsin. There were other factors, of course, like my desire to be close to family again. However, the overall draw to returning “home” was what I hoped would be a sense of stability and normalcy.

Err, anyone been to the capitol lately?

Wisconsin is not exactly the poster child for all things stable and normal anymore. A state of working class folks who don’t typically demand a whole lot, things have suddenly gotten a lot more interesting for the Dairy State. If you live anywhere in the U.S. that is not under a rock, you have heard that the state capital, Madison, is on its third week of mass protests. What exactly is being protested depends on who you talk to. The governor’s attack on labor unions? Impending layoffs of a few thousand state workers? Massive proposed cuts to Wisconsin schools, Medicaid and other basic social programs? The demise of the Democratic party? The overarching issue that money talks in this country? All of the above?

Whatever side you’re on, you cannot deny that this has been and continues to be one powerful demonstration. Last Saturday alone, an estimated 100,000 people descended upon the capitol including people from all over the country (and let’s not forget Canada) who wanted to show their support for Wisconsinites. Quite a surge for a city of 200,000. A few weeks ago, a group of New York City Cheeseheads donned their yellow foam and rallied in midtown to show their support. Even people from the other side of the globe are putting in orders at Ian’s Pizza, a downtown Madison pizzeria to help feed the protesters. I’ve even heard that the cops (supposedly protected from this bill) were at one point handing out bottles of water and hot dogs.

During a time when people are already struggling to keep their heads above water, the idea of further cuts to salaries and benefits along with all out job loss is too much for most, in any state, to bear. Throw in the possibility of losing a voice at the bargaining table and you’ve got an already struggling middle class that is absolutely going to flip their lids. But this is American where everyone is allowed their opinions and according to most reports, these passionate protests, even the one that included the Tea Party, have been nothing been respectful and peaceful.

Last week, I was feeling pretty downtrodden about the whole thing. I mean, can the job situation for Americans really get much worse? I don’t care what the news reports say about the U.S. economy being on the upswing. Tell that to the folks of Detroit. How many more people are going to have to worry about losing their houses? And tell me, why the hell did I come back to this state again?

But as I pored over coverage of the weekend demonstrations, reading the protesters’ posters, listening to their speeches, and catching up on their personal stories, I felt that this was actually a perfect time to be back in Wisconsin. I’ve had a lot of ups and downs the past few years and although I hate to see anyone suffer, it helps to be reminded that I am a part of a strong collective of Midwestern folks. We’re all just trying to survive, to make ends meet the best way we know how, and provide safe, healthy homes for our families. To hear people on both sides voice their concerns peacefully and passionately reminds me that no one is really alone. Those people rallying at the capitol for the 17th day in a row know that better than anyone.

Catch!

2011-02-12T16:27:00.007-06:00

I detest talking on the phone but I adore phone conversations that go like this:

3yoPN (robot name for Three-Year-Old Pumpkin Niece): "You gonna come ovah and play wid me now??”

Me: “Oh, honey, I wish that I could but it takes me a long time to get there. Remember how I live far away?”

3yoPN, either in sheer denial or with alarming, sudden hearing loss: “You gonna come now?”

Me: “I can’t. I’ve got to stay here for now and take care of Baxter. Remember, Baxter, my cat?”

3yoPN, suddenly turning into a miniature mother hen: “Don’t worry. You can bring your titty tat with.”

Me, stifling myself and secretly hoping she will never be able to pronounce her K’s: “Oh, wouldn’t that be nice if I could? But I can’t, honey. Remember how I told you he doesn’t play well with other kitties? He’s such a silly scaredy cat! He’d be soooo scared of your kitty!”

3yoPN, in continuous denial (wonder where she gets this):“It’s otay, Auntie Waitzel. You come ovah and bring your titty tat, too.”

Upon the third, “I wish I could but I can’t,” she suddenly accepted this with an “Otay, BYE!” and pretty much dropped the phone on the floor.

Although I relish the fact that my niece wanted nothing more at that moment than for me to come ovah, I also love that she didn’t dwell on the bad news that I couldn’t make that happen at the drop of a hat. Throughout the years, I’ve learned tons from little ones and I am probably most jealous of their ability to forgive and move on. Now don’t get me wrong, I realize that they also have little sponge-like memories that can result in tantrums that go something like: “BUT YOU TOLD ME I COULD WATCH MY DORA MOVIE IF I WENT PEE PEE ON THE POTTY ALL DAY!” However, I’m often shocked how these tiny people who have only been on this planet a few short years can understand and accept abstract concepts.

On many occasions, I’ve had the very unfortunate experience of promising something to a child that I cannot ultimately deliver. I'm quite sure that noothing makes you feel like a bigger schmuck.

“Peanut, I know I told you that if you acted like a quiet little mouse during library time, I’d take you out for a Cowabunga Crazy Ice Cream Sundae With Rainbow Confetti afterward but ummm…I guess Cowabunga’s is closed today. I'm sorry.”

Cue the puzzled expression, the wrinkled brow, perhaps even some tears. And if they’re old enough, they might just make you suffer for it. However, an amazing number of little ones have picked up on my genuine sorrow at times like these, responding with a simple “It’s okay” while proceeding to build a tower of blocks.

And unlike the grown-ups around them who will dredge up crap from the past and sling it during a much different argument, you’ll rarely hear a preschooler remind you that you dropped the ball with Cowabunga’s two years ago or that you really "disappointed" them when you couldn’t come “ovah.” Instead they are just so happy to see you right now at this moment. The past isn’t such a big deal and there’s no point in worrying about tomorrow. Today is here and she’s got a ball that she wants to toss to you. Now. So catch. It’s the only ball she doesn’t want you to drop right now.

Holy Snow

2011-02-04T07:20:00.003-06:00

I've lived in Wisconsin most of my life so you'd think I'd be used to snowstorms at this point. Yet that monster that hit us the other day? Unbelievable. I cannot remember the last time I have seen so much snow. It was reminiscent of those stories that ended with "And then after our chores, we'd walk eight miles to school through twenty foot drifts. We weren't like these wimpy kids today."

Pajama clad with coffee in hand, I watched from my window as the plow came through and created a two foot fence of sorts alongside my car. I just laughed. Where else was all this snow going to go?

Later in the day, I joined in on the neighborhood camaraderie, digging out my car amidst the buzz of snow blowers and the scraping of shovels on concrete. The shoveling was actually not as bad as I had suspected. (Someone can tell you, though, that I whined for a good hour about my impending pain and suffering before I actually got out there. And yes, my muscles now feel as though someone took a club to my back.) Luckily, though, the snow wasn't that awful, heavy wet stuff. Plus I think that all those years, lifting chunky babies has actually done something for my upper body strength.

Also, the weather was surprisingly mild. Sunny and still. I wasn't even wearing a hat for God's sake and I'm always cold. I found that I didn't even mind the shoveling. Good exercise. Plus there was a pang of "I am woman, hear me roar" as I dug out my entire car by myself. But then I heard some birds singing and my heart sunk.

So let me get this right. We just had a blizzard which included disconcerting crashes of thunder and yet twelve hours later, I could hear the birds? And this was only twelve hours before the temperature plummeted to wind chills of minus twenty? But according to some, the way we have treated our planet has no way led to such odd changes in worldwide climate. (Umm, didn't Texas even get hit with a good chunk of this storm?)

Now I'm not going to attribute every snowstorm to global warming and climate change but have you ever heard your parents talk about what the weather was like when they were kids? I know for the Midwest, the previous generation paints a very different picture. I find it both fascinating and heartbreaking. I'd like to hear the birds sometime in March, thank you very much. And as long as the snow isn't coming in July, I can handle it. Thank God it's so darn pretty.

Travel Tips

2011-02-01T13:48:00.002-06:00

Seems appropriate on a day like today (with a blizzard yet to come) to pass this info on. And my condolences to anyone who gets stranded at LaGuardia. Blech.

For the Love of God, Drink Water!

2011-01-31T07:15:00.006-06:00

It's not typically in the midst of snowstorms and chronic red cheeks that we think about the need to push fluids. No, it's usually 90 some degrees when those in the medical field along with our local meteorologists so kindly remind us to drink, drink, drink. However, the winter can be dangerous, too. I know for me, I crave water much more during the cold, dry weather. And let's not forget that the harsh winter is prime flu season, both the achy, feverish junk as well as the bathroom running kind.

And for that reason, I have had the recent unfortunate experience of witnessing the not so fun effects of dehydration. Twice. Since I am a water drinking fool, this has not happened to me but I almost rather it had. It's not fun to watch others experience dizziness, heart palpitations, and then suddenly collapse on the floor. Hence, I'd like to deliver a very original little PSA for you all:

PLEASE DRINK LOTS O'FLUIDS.

Especially after a bout of the stomach flu. You may think you're fine, doing your normal thing but you'd be amazed how much you have actually lost in that 24 hour period when some nasty bug was wreaking havoc on your system. (I learned all sorts of things from the friendly ER doc the other night). The signs of dehydration might not even hit you until a full week later but when it does, trust me, it will suck. Who wants to spend their Saturday night hooked up to an IV anyway? And if nothing else will convince you, remember this: the Packers need your strength.

So drink. Water, that is. You can do a bit of the other kind after that Superbowl win.

When Your Girls Have Had Enough

2011-01-26T09:19:00.002-06:00

Considering how much I hate bra shopping (yes, on top of the jeans shopping), it makes perfect sense that doing the exact opposite would cause me great joy. So join me, ladies, in donating your bras to Soma Intimates. Ideally, they will either go to underprivileged women. However, if it's decided that those bras of yours are just a bit too worn, do not fret. They will be recycled. Joy!

For more details...

Oh, and I Guess the Packers Won

2011-01-25T07:13:00.006-06:00

While the vast majority of Wisconsin citizens stayed inside Sunday afternoon, glued to the Packer game, two very non-fanatical (and yet still Wisconsin dwelling!) ladies decided to hit the road and do a little shopping in Milwaukee. The idea was to explore the Third Ward, the community of warehouse condos and fun little boutiques which sits just south of Milwaukee's downtown district.

But apparently, even the owners of those cute little boutiques were Cheeseheads, too. Almost everywhere we went, we were greeted with signs that said, "Closed for Packer/Bear Game" or "Re-Opening Monday. Go Pack, Go!"

Seriously?

However, maybe it was our good fortunate because we finally ended up at Retique, which immediately turned into one of my new favorite thrift stores. Now I love secondhand stores in all of their many cramped, musty, fluorescent lit forms but I must admit that it was nice to not emerge smelling like a secondhand store. Retique is quite lovely actually. Like most of the Third Ward establishments, it is spacious with hardwood floors and high ceilings. And of course, I was thrilled to learn that it was a Goodwill affiliated store and that a percentage of proceeds would go back into Goodwill programming.

However, more than anything, I was just happy to recycle clothing rather than buy something new that wreaked further havoc on our planet. Don't get me wrong, I know we all need to get new clothes from time to time but buying secondhand (especially from a charitable organization) is, in my opinion, one of the most earth conscientious, do-gooder steps you can take in your daily life. I mean, just look!

Plus, can I just tell you about the hell that has been Rachael's Jean Shopping Experience? The Gap has been my ultimate enemy as of late. Yet, when I grabbed a pair of their Curvy Boot Cut jeans from the thrift store the other day, all nicely worn, those exact pants I had tried on just a few days ago new in the store, suddenly fit me like a glove. Oh, and perhaps I should mention that I paid a whopping three dollars for them.

Overall, I must say that the favored items of my wardrobe are fun finds from thrift stores: unusual purses, vintage skirts, awesome jewelry. Basically all the things that make people say, "Wow, that's so cool, where did you get that?" are the things that came straight out of a bin at St. Vinny's. And it's not just my luck. During a recent thrift shopping excursion, my sister came away with an awesome, antique looking brass mirror that Pottery Barn will no doubt try to replicate for a few hundred bucks.

So if you haven't already, think about checking out your local Salvation Army, Goodwill, or any other little secondhand store in your community. Your wallet will most certainly feel it and if Mother Earth could do it, she'd probably give you a little smooch of appreciation.

Also, check to see if your community has opened their own ReThreads yet. Word on the street is that they are spreading to a town near you...

I Heart NY

2011-01-14T18:46:00.002-06:00

Of course, I'd really like it if they just forced more people to use mass transit and banned half of the cabs that just drive around, spitting out fumes all day. However, this is progress.

My Favorite 3 R's: Reduce, Recycle, Reuse

2011-01-13T06:58:00.006-06:00

The other night, my friend whipped out her most current Netflix arrival and I was thrilled to learn that it was No Impact Man. I remember hearing about this "crazy" dude while living in New York a few years. Apparently, what had stuck in my mind upon reading a review back then was still lodged in the front of my brain. "That's the dude who gave up the elevator in his building and walked up something like six flights a day. With his toddler!"

Because that's pretty much where I would have drawn the line.

So this is the story about Colin Beaven and his family and how they decide to make as little impact on the environment as possible for one year. This means, among many other things, only eating food that is grow locally (sorry, no coffee), stomping their clothes clean in the bathtub, and bringing worms into their apartment to compost their waste.

Although I probably could have learned to walk up six flights or whatever it was, I definitely could not have gone without toilet paper (still not entirely clear how they dealt with that). But overall, as I watched this film, I thought, this isn't so crazy. Okay, going without electricity is pretty extreme but it isn't a ludicrous idea. Hello, solar power. And there were many simple things that they did that I, too, have incorporated into my daily life. Now I'm no saint but for the most part:

I don't use plastic bags. (I always have a nylon Chico type bag stuffed in my purse.)
I use my own, reusable coffee to-go cup.
I make and use my own basic cleaning agents. (White vinegar and baking soda can do wonders for your entire house.)

And of course, I'm constantly educating myself and trying to do lots of other things in the name of the environment as well as my health. I walk rather than drive as much as I can. I only wash my clothes in cold water. I only use the electricity sucking clothes dryer when necessary. I rarely get take-out food because I despise the waste that comes along with it not to mention how unhealthy most food from your local Chinese joint really is. And speaking of trash, I found this aspect of Colin's project one of the most interesting. I recycle everything I possibly can but what if I made a really huge effort to avoid buying things in packaging in the first place? Could I really say goodbye to my Wheat Thins?

I found Colin's blog to be really helpful regarding this issue along with many, many others. Plus there are many links to other great environmental websites and blogs such as My Zero Waste. In fact, I was quickly reminded as to just how many wonderful environmentally friendly How To sites are out there. And then I wondered, why, with all of this information at their fingertips, are so many people still not taking action? I mean, how in 2011, can people still not be making the most bottom of the barrel attempt to at least recycle their garbage?

It blows my mind. And when I visit my parents and walk in the back woods, only to find that plastic milk jugs and other garbage have found their way among the animals' eating grounds, I practically go insane.

So here's another resolution for 2011. I'm going to start posting more information about recycling, how to reduce consumption, and how we can live healthier lives in the process. Sound good?

So first step, even if you think this Colin dude is nuts, take a few moments to check out his blog and some of the links. You don't have to give up electricity. Just make a pledge to unplug a bit more. Small acts can result in truly great things.

All Right Already, They're Riekers!!

2011-01-05T20:29:00.004-06:00

I'm rather picky about my shoes. Not in a must-be-fancy-pants-brand kind of way but more in a if-I'm-paying-this-much-money-they-better-damn-fit-well kind of way. Then I moved to New York and it became infinitely important that they not only fit my narrow feet but that they were outfitted with some heavy duty soles, too. I've always walked a lot but when you are literally pounding the pavement every day, you quickly learn what a good shoe is and what isn't.

So a few winters ago in Brooklyn, I was on a mission to get the best boots ever. For years, I had been on the lookout for some basic, black boots without heels that would allow me to trudge through the snow while looking somewhat fashionable. When I got to NYC, this desire became a damn near obsession. Why was it so difficult to find something that was both practical and a just a little bit cute? All I wanted was something that was warm, waterproof, and with decent traction. And no, they couldn't look like the moon boots I wore in the third grade. And yet, it seemed like I was going to have to decide between either killing myself on the ice or looking like an eight-year-old.

And then, one day, I found them, the perfect, rugged yet cute winter boots. THANK YOU, RIEKER! I still cannot believe (three years later) how comfortable they are. Then again, Rieker uses some sort of magical "anti-stress" technology which I would normally laugh at if I didn't actually walk all day in these boots without getting sore. Or wet. Or cold. And what a shocker, it's a German brand! Leave it to those crazy awesome German engineers to save my tootsies.

Anyway, I wouldn't normally waste your time writing about this kind of thing, dear reader, but I was beginning to feel some sort of social responsibility to spread the word after being stopped repeatedly by random, wide-eyed female strangers who understand the winter boot plight.

"WHERE DID YOU GET THOSE?!?!" is how it usually goes. And then we proceed to bond over a pair of shoes while standing in Target's pet supply aisle.

So here: www.zappos.com

Now go. Order. Make your feet happy.

I suddenly feel so socially responsible. And this is way less work than that whole social work thing. Who knew?

Woke Up New

2011-01-01T10:34:00.004-06:00

Quite frankly, I've got some pretty darn high expectations for 2011. And I don't think I'm the only one. It seemed as though people weren't as excited to ring in the new year as much as they were just excited to get the hell out of the old one. Last night, I met up with several old friends at a few different parties and the reoccurring theme most definitely was, "GOOD RIDDANCE 2010!!"

Wow.

But you know, there are a few things you may or may not know about me:

a) I try to be a positive person.

b) My life is a musical. In my head, that is. There is often some kind of theme song playing in my head to accompany the moment.

and

c) No, I'm not kidding about "b." Just to clarify, I am indeed that nerdy. But this also means that I make some of the best play lists ever. I promise you.

Anyway, it only seems appropriate to showcase the song of the moment on this overcast New Year's day, one of my all time favorites. Besides, this sentiment is a bit more positive than my other favorite by these guys. You know, that whole, "I'm gonna make it through this year if it kills me" thing. Anyway...enjoy.

And of course, Happy 2011. It's gonna be a good one, I can feel it.

It's Not Too Late!

2010-12-24T08:54:00.002-06:00

I made it a personal challenge of mine this holiday season to donate my spare change every single time I came across a bell ringer for the Salvation Army. Quite frankly, it was nice to take away the "Should I or shouldn't I?" dilemma I normally felt when some days, I'd come across these folks three or four times a day. This year, it was a non-issue. Of course I would donate. Not only did my purse get a bit lighter (while my other shoulder was often weighted down with gifts), but I felt pretty darn okay, too.

Now it's time to move on to donate again to the Environmental Defense Fund. And I'm curious to hear about the charities you may have donated to this year. And please post links so others many check them out!

Serious Flashback Time

2010-12-19T07:48:00.006-06:00

Recently, while visiting a friend, I found myself casually observing the interactions between her teenage daughter and the girl's male "friend" throughout the evening. At first, it appeared to truly be a friendly situation only. However, as the evening progressed from ping pong to lazing on the couch in front of the TV, it became clear that a teenage romance was budding before my very eyes.

It also amazed me that despite my inability to see the awesomeness that apparently is Lady Gaga (really? No, really??), very little has changed in the realm of teenage flirtation since my hormone laden days. Apparently, the rules in trying to score the attention of a cute boy have pretty much remained the same. Lots of smiling, a careful amount of laughing at the right time, a lot of questions fired off about his school activities (whether you really cared or not), and then when it came to that time on the couch, after you had assessed your proximity to him, when you had edged over just a little, perhaps just to cross your legs in his direction, after you noticed that he had responded to you by turning your way just the teeniest bit, after you finally took that deep breath, you would would make your move to...

put your head on his shoulder.

Yes, this is what I walked in on the other night. A little cuddle while watching Glee. I had walked into the living room to grab my purse and accidentally witnessed what I can only assume was a very calculated head-on-shoulder move. The boy, sitting there all tall and rigid, also had a ridiculous, goofy smile plastered on his face. As I hightailed it out of there, I stifled a giggle. I could only imagine the racing hearts, those exciting endorphins, those obsessive thoughts of FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, WHEN IS HE GONNA KISS ME?

Oh, to be sixteen again.

Funny, then, that I'm heading that way myself tonight. No, there's no time travel involved. But I'm going to be seeing my old high school boyfriend in just a few hours, the guy I dated when I was sixteen. We've actually hung out quite a bit throughout the years after the requisite "I HATE YOU!" stage that seemed to last not only senior year but a good chunk of college, too. (What can I say? I was an angry teenage girl.)

I can't say that either one of us is secretly pining after one another "after all these years." No, it's morphed into more of a brotherly/sisterly "Oh my God, you said what to her?" kind of relationship than anything else. But it's absolutely fascinating to me that just seeing this guy can resurrect funny old memories and sweet, innocent feelings that I had thought were long ago lost. How can that not make me smile?

It's also amazing to me how some of those initial feelings, questions, and behaviors of our teenage dating years still manage to creep back in twenty years later when we're all mature and beyond all of that awkwardness. Right. Body language is body language and I don't think that changes all that much.

But do I still think putting my head on someone's shoulder is a big step? Actually, yes. Especially after hours of quiet chatter on my back porch. I guess I'm a sucker for a Summer of 1992 kind of romance. And it kind of makes my heart melt to see it happen all over again in 2010. Maybe I'm not so darn old fashioned after all.

And She Grinchily Complained...

2010-12-12T14:54:00.004-06:00

After all the talk of the impending snowstorm headed our way yesterday, I made a conscious decision to get snowed in at my sister's house. (Side note: This is Wisconsin. Wind does not constitute "snowstorm.") Anyway, I couldn't think of a better way to spend my Saturday night than to get my cozy pajamas on, read some books, and drink hot chocolate with my little peanut niece. It was also prime time for watching some classic Christmas specials. Frosty the Snowman was actually being aired last night so we started with that. However, Little Miss wasn't all that impressed with the jolliness of a gigantic snowman who never seems to know what day it is. Finally, she said, "Ginch?"

Luckily, my handy dandy interpreter (aka mother of said child) was present and said, "You want to watch The Grinch?"

I don't know who was more excited, my niece or me. "YES!" we both squealed simultaneously.

And here's where I get to speak passionately for a brief moment about yet another wonderful message conveyed by Dr. Suess. We don't need toys or decorations to feel the spirit of Christmas. We just need one another to feel the spirit in our hearts! Awwww!

But before we got to that squishy, melty point in the story, my sister and I had a lot of difficulty losing ourselves in the show, instead grinchily (did you know they actually use that word as an adjective in the story?) pointing out how the laws of physics would not allow for 90% of this story to take place.

I mean, it really gets out of hand when the sleigh, packed full of stolen Who toys is about to slide down the edge of a treacherous mountain peak. But first, it dangles there, balancing for a bit due to the...sturdy body of a two-pound canine? Really? This, of course, after the tiny wiener dog just pulled a 500 pound load of toys up the mountain to begin with.

My sister, who had been in and out of the living room throughout the whole show, heard me laugh and then said, "But you know what part really gets me? When the Grinch takes the antlers and fastens it on the dog's head with one tiny piece of thread. Thread? I mean, did you see the size of those antlers. Come on!"

Then in the next breath: "Of course, I apparently can get over the fact that there is a green man running around town with no pants but this...this thread/antler issue, I just can't get over."

We laughed as she plopped down in the recliner across from me. And then she said, "But don't you just wish you could be a kid again and just get lost in the story?"

I agreed and sighed. But then the Grinch's heart suddenly swelled, the Whos began to sing, and I watched my niece's big blue eyes widen as she got lost in it all.

And suddenly, so did I.

WAIT! I mean, can you?

2010-12-07T09:04:00.003-06:00

I smiled as I was reading this because it was confirming some of my suspicions about the not so nice effects of one's addiction to his/her phone/laptop/disruptive device of the day. And just as I was feeling a bit haughty, I then realized I was skimming the article.

So much for that patience I thought I was started to acquire...

Just a Reminder

2010-12-06T08:54:00.002-06:00

I try to remember to do this every day. Maybe you can, too?

The Smell of Success

2010-12-02T15:11:00.003-06:00

So after the feast and some goofy play time with my fam over the Thanksgiving holiday, I got to enjoy some quiet alone time later in the weekend. Everyone was gone doing this or that and I found myself staring at the family piano, wondering when on earth I had last played. Months? Years? It was sort of tragic considering that when I was in high school, I came home every day and banged on that piano. And with all of my moving around the past few years, I had lost my two favorite piano books somewhere along the way. Or so I thought.

Even though I had rummaged through my mother’s piles of music a hundred times in search of my beloved books, I gave it one more shot and suddenly, there they were, staring at me from inside the piano bench! One was from high school, the same John Thompson book that my two older sisters had also learned from. Tattered pages, binding shot, cover completely absent, notes from our piano teacher scrawled in three different colors of ink for each of us...it was perfect.

I couldn’t believe how giddy I felt upon recovering this music. I mean, I actually squealed. And then I sat down and played. Beethoven. Bach. Mozart. And my Chopin! It wasn’t pretty. Oh God, it wasn’t. But to pound out Beethoven’s first movement of Sonata Pathetique (okay, maybe not quite all of that first page, I never did completely master that one), to feel my fingers run through Bach's sonatina, I felt overwhelmingly happy. And I was amazed how after a few goes at each song, I was almost back at my standard level. Like riding a bike....

There’s something to be said for feeling a sense of productivity. I’m quite certain this is why cooking and baking became a more serious hobby for me in recent years. As a social worker, I rarely saw the results of my hard work. I certainly hoped that my actions were leading to the long-term safety of a child or the formation of a new family unit but how was I really to know? But I certainly knew that if I threw flour, eggs, butter, and sugar together, something delicious would come of it. And there’s something pretty spectacular about mastering a goal like getting all the timing of Etude in E Minor right. I'm not quite there yet but it's coming. I can smell it. Sort of like that cake in the oven.

Ahhh, success.

Not Quite a Balanced Meal But...

2010-11-26T16:54:00.004-06:00

The last few weeks have been a bit crazy to say the least. Overall, it's been good stuff but running around like a chicken (or turkey?) with its head cut off can catch up to you. In fact, it’s part of the reason I threw my laptop to the wayside and swore off most technology for a week.

And then there was Thanksgiving.

I’m not sure when I was last in the north woods of Wisconsin with my family for Thanksgiving. New York and Spain sort of got in the way. And I definitely have no idea when my oldest sister and I managed to be there at the same time. But this year, the whole fam, including significant others and a peanut of a niece were present for the feast. As we prepared, I happily set the table and couldn’t help but smile when I arranged my niece’s place setting. (By the way, check out the missing roll. Someone just couldn’t wait.) My mom thought it was important for Autumn to eat off of the good china like the rest of us, considering that Little Miss is quite insistent these days that she is a “big girl." However, her tiny spoon and fork and the farm animal plastic cup alongside the china quickly reminded me that despite her “big girl” status, she is barely out of toddlerhood. I couldn’t help but feel a twinge of sadness, considering all of the times she has wanted me to play in recent months and I’ve been unable to due to a ringing cell phone or an expectant email sitting in my inbox.

Damn technology.

Well, okay, not really. I love the fact that it makes my life easier in so many ways. I’m glad that I can easily shoot off an email or a text to quickly communicate my need/desire/question/answer. But I also know that next year, the tiny spoon and fork will most likely be gone. So I happily threw my phone into my purse and did not look at it for a full ten hours. Instead, I sat down for a wonderful feast with my family, played Go Fish, ate some more, and played a little harder. Now today it’s back to work and I’m happy to do it. Who knew that a day of gluttony could lead one to feel so balanced?

ppp;

2010-11-15T07:21:00.008-06:00

Since I've returned to Wisconsin and have had ample opportunity to hang out with family, I've been highly involved in the toilet training process of my now three-year-old niece. It really does take a village. We encouraged, we enticed, we begged, we bribed, we cheered, we even performed the occasional happy dance. And after a lot of (literal) hand holding and sprinting to the bathroom upon hearing the phrase, "I go pee now!" I think we may have actually gotten to the point of (dare I even say it?) success.

Funny, then, upon visiting a friend, I have found myself in the throes of potty training again. However, this time, our trainee is a six-week-old kitten. Separated from his mother too early, he wasn't able to learn from her how to use a litter box. Now my friend is trying to figure out how in the world to teach this little puffball to tinkle in the litter pan and not on her bedroom carpet. We spent last night, repeatedly putting him in his litter box and hoping something would click.

"He hasn't gone all day," my friend said, gently grabbing him as he scampered out of the box and placing him back in.

But there's only so many times you can put a highly energized kitten into a litter box only to watch him pop out as if on a miniature spring. Despite our best, "PEE IN THE BOX!" mental messages, the little guy was way more interested in playing than taking the time to pee. Hmm, sounded like a certain three-year-old I know.

A short while later as I was washing my face in the bathroom, I heard my friend shriek, "Not the curtains!"

Her beautiful, billowy drapes which just grace the floor now had a pee soaked oval on them. She sunk to the floor with her new best friend, Resolve, and went to work for the umpteenth time.

Both cat people, we discussed other possible training methods and finally developed a new plan which entails keeping him in the bathroom all day (for some reason, cats tend not to soil tile or linoleum, saving their pee and puke for your oriental rug instead) with a very shallow litter pan. Limited space can only mean a higher likelihood of success, right?

However, if any of you cat people have great ideas for a gal and her incontinent fuzzball, we'd welcome the advice. Okay, it's time for me to put him in the box again. If I can help teach a strong-willed three-year-old, I can certainly do my part with a half pound fuzzball...right?

Oh, and by the way, that title? Yeah, his doing. Apparently we all have P on the brain.

TIME, TIME!!

2010-11-09T11:06:00.003-06:00

It's probably already rather evident but I can get the teensiest bit obsessed with the allotment of my time. In fact, this song has been running through my head lately for no reason except for the "Time! Time!" bit (as if I don't already have the reminder in my head to watch the clock and get AS MUCH DONE AS POSSIBLE in one day). I can't help it. I've never understood the phrases, "I'm bored" or "I don't know what to do with myself." There's always about 382 things I want to do at any given moment.

Because of this, I tend to cram in a whole lot into a tiny amount of time. I mean, did I really just make a plan to visit three different cities in one week's time? Come on, I'm not backpacking through Europe anymore! And of course, now in preparation for these trips, I'm got 600 more things added to my "to do" list. And don't even remind me that Thanksgiving is around the corner.

(Sigh)

So it's no surprise that I haven't been a very good friend lately. I've been rather in my head, trying to sort out a whole lot of stuff. Definitely not as present as I'd like to be. But yesterday, I was thrown back into reality. A dear friend of mine was having a really awful day. Already riled up with work related stress, things snowballed when she began to feel physically ill and by the end of the day, she was in hysterics. Although I hate to hear anyone I love so upset, I was so glad that she had reached out and called me. Not only was I happy to hear her out but her tears also helped ground me. Suddenly, travel plans really weren't so important. What was important was that I made myself available to her. Right then, in that moment. I was present.

So I listened. I agreed with the unfairness of her work situation. I listened to her cry and I let her know that I would be there for her the next day, too, if she needed it. So here we are the next day with a plan for yoga this evening and burgers, fries, and chocolate malts to follow. (What the hell? Sometimes a gal has to let it all go.)

And suddenly, my time feels much more valuable. You know, like those cow bell ringing Chamber Brothers said.

Now the time has come. There are things to realize. Time has come today. Time has come today....TIME! TIME!

For the Sake of My Physical Well-Being, Please Vote

2010-11-02T08:44:00.004-05:00

Someone recently asked me if I was campaigning for any of the political candidates this year. My immediate reaction was, Are you kidding me? Aren't there enough people doing that?

'Tis the season for Americans to be slammed with a litany of ads everywhere they turn. Even if you turn off the TV and the radio, those faces will make their way into your mailbox. They might even knock right into you on the street. I hadn't realized how bad the phone campaign had gotten until a recent dinner with my parents at their place. A relatively calm household otherwise, our conversation was interrupted every five minutes by the phone. They knew best to ignore the incessant ringing the best they could. (After close inspection, it appears as though their phone ringer cannot be completely turned off. What a shame.) But after a while, we could only stare at one another, all thinking the same thing. After the 40th phone call, does that campaigner on the other end really think our enraged state will allow us to to hear anything they say, no matter how calm and rational it may be?

I was thinking about all of this last night while I was running on the treadmill. I was ticked off for my parents who haven't been able to enjoy a peaceful night in weeks but of course, I was even more concerned about the outcome of these elections. With a pretty even split of liberals and conservatives, you never know how Wisconsin is going to go. One of my sisters, who lives out of state, recently exclaimed to me on the phone, "But at least you're back in Wisconsin! It needs your vote!"

True. And as I Wanna Be Sedated came up on my Ipod which seemed so appropriate for the way I wanted to spend the next twenty-four hours (hopefully not the next two years), I got so revved up that I accidentally began to run too fast, leading me to trip on the frame of the treadmill and nearly fly off the damn thing. As I caught my breath and tried to keep my political panic in check, I reminded myself that in twenty, twenty, twenty-four hours from that moment, we'd at least be done wondering and could start preparing for changes.

So I'm off to the polls soon to take some action. I don't wear enough stickers these days anyway. Besides I'm really looking forward to a peaceful dinner at my Mom and Dad's. Phone, be still. My mother's apple pie alone deserves full attention.

The Almighty "L" Word

2010-10-30T12:30:00.001-05:00

I feel so lucky that I am now in a position where I get to see my three-year-old niece on a regular basis. Not only is the kid hilarious, she's extremely kind and generous for a little tyke, especially considering that she has no siblings to contend with. I'm also amazed that she can run away from me, screaming "MEAN RACHAEL!" one minute (you know, for not allowing her to play with knives) to wanting to share her cookie with me the next. Oh, a day in the life of a three-year-old.

Never a snugly baby, my niece now sometimes has the impulse to cuddle up with a family member but it's still few and far between. She's just too darn busy to stop and be affectionate! Therefore, you can imagine my surprise when out of nowhere the other day, sugar sweetness came dripping out of her mouth.

Recently, she walked in on me practicing some yoga and has been intrigued ever since. (Her favorite pose is three-legged dog.) Anyway, considering my ongoing stiffness, I’m constantly dropping to the floor to twist and stretch and if she’s around, she often feels compelled to join in. I always try to teach her something new so the other day, I decided to teach her my favorite pose, pigeon.

So there I was, halfway into the pose while trying to maneuver her tiny limbs into the same formation. I finally got her legs into some variation of the pose and then proceeded to demonstrate how to lean forward and press one’s forehead to the floor. As I peeked over to see if she got it, her round little face lifted from the carpet and from behind a few blond curls dangling in her face, she chose this time to say, “I love you.”

Now, the closest I’ve gotten to this was a few weeks ago when in the midst of some auntie/niece Bugs Bunny viewing pleasure, she said, “I like Rachael.” That in itself made my heart flutter. So you can imagine the lump that formed in my throat, right in the middle of pigeon pose, hearing the much more important “L” word.

“I love you, too, honey,” I said, feeling my body relax even further into the pose. And then just like that, she sprung up and decided to see what her momma was up to. And I stretched out even further onto the floor as if I was turning into a puddle, my heart melting faster than anything else.

Working From Home Really Isn't So Bad

2010-10-26T12:58:00.003-05:00

Yep, sometimes I'm really, really grateful that I don't have to leave the house on a regular basis for work. I mean, a "wind warning"? Well, I guess I'll get cozy and be all Little House on the Prairie like. Just gotta chop some wood and churn some butter first.

Woot, Woot!

2010-10-25T07:56:00.000-05:00

Round one completed. Thanks to everyone who voted!

Feelings Subject to Change Come January

2010-10-22T07:24:00.004-05:00

Coffee? Check. Afghan to wrap up in? Check. Seat near window? Check. Now relax, sip, and smile.

I think I may have already missed the first official frost in my area of Wisconsin but today, I'm actually witnessing it for myself. As I stumbled out of bed in the dark and made my way, half blind, to the coffee maker, I glimpsed out the window to see the grass looking a bit more muted than usual. For the first time in my life, the sight of that first blanket of frost actually resulted in a little squeal.

I know. Crazy, right?

Maybe it's due to the plague of bugs (mosquitoes to flies to some sort of exotic looking beetles) we've had for a steady three months or maybe it's because I love wearing tights with skirts but something tells me that my excitement is more about the fact that I'm ringing in a new season back home.

But let me be clear: I do detest winter in Wisconsin. It's actually part of the reason I left three years ago. I felt like I was turning into some cranky 80-year-old who regularly cursed that nature need not be so cruel. But yet here I am, back in the very state that will soon make me scrape, shovel, and fall on my keister an ungodly amount of times And I'm looking forward to this?

In some crazy way, yes.

I guess it's because this year, I get to finally see my niece dress up for Halloween, in a Care Bear costume no less! Also, after six or seven years away, I will spend Thanksgiving with my family again. And Christmas this year means not relying on a plane that is likely to either sit at JFK for hours on end or get rescheduled altogether, leading me to panic about whether I will enjoy any part of Christmas with the fam at all.

Plus, it's just so darn pretty and still outside right now.

Of course, there are other sacrifices I will have to make. No Christmas tree at Rockefeller plaza. No joining in on the hustle and bustle of shopping on Broadway. No meeting up with my awesome Brooklyn posse at some cozy little French bistro for wine and laughter.

But to me, new seasons mean being grateful for the last and embracing what's ahead, no matter how challenging it may be. And like the frost, there always seems to be some beauty along the way.

Maybe I Should Sing This First Thing in the Morning?

2010-10-19T09:59:00.003-05:00

As if Sesame Street doesn't already warm your heart, how about finding out that one of the writers composed this song for his daughter?

Go Gina! Go Gina!

2010-10-14T17:33:00.007-05:00

You all remember my obsession with this awesome non-profit, right? Utilizing ingredients from local gardens? Holding classes for kids as well as the elderly on how to cook healthy meals? Oh, and reminding people that food served at shelters doesn't have to come in canned or powdered form?

Yeah, Gina Keatley is a bit of a hero of mine and now I can vote for her and her awesome organization, the Nourishing Kitchen of NYC in the Classy Awards, the Academy Awards of the charity world. Yep, she's a candidate for Volunteer of the Year and her organization is up for Charity of the Year. If she wins, these awards could bring in up to $35,000 to the Nourishing Kitchen! Can you imagine all the additional amazing things this lady could do with a bit more in her pockets??

And if I can't convince you to vote for Gina and her amazing non-profit, please consider just getting on the site and voting. Charity is charity. And we all could use a little love, am I right?

Who Knew?

2010-10-10T12:13:00.003-05:00

Maybe it's a bit strange but my heart did a little flip flop when I came into the house last night and came upon this pile of shoes. I was well on my way to a cozy autumn evening with family, post pumpkin patch fun. Pizza and apples. Giggling from the other room. The humming of the dishwasher. Those shoes that were frantically kicked off to continue the fun. Somehow the simplicity of it all made me crazy happy.

Aiding the Farms

2010-10-05T11:35:00.004-05:00

"All right'" my friend said as she set her beer down on the bar, taking a deep breath. "It's time to go to 'The Aid.'"

That would be Farm Aid. If you were a Midwestern kid in the 80s, you definitely knew all about Farm Aid. Willie Nelson and John Cougar (when he still added the Mellencamp)? Sure, it was a little dorky but we loved that our farmers were getting any attention at all. In fact, that's about the last time I heard much sympathy for those who feed us.

Anyway, my friend scored a few free tickets to this year's show so off we went to Miller Park the other night to rock out. Okay, so Jason Mraz isn't quite someone to rock out to but Norah Jones killed and John Cougar made me smile. (I will continue to pass on Neil Young. Sorry.) And Willie came out repeatedly to sing with each performer so when half of the group came out after Neil's set and bid us goodnight, we hightailed it out of there and hopped back onto our little shuttle bus.

But apparently we were a bit too quick.

The next day, we heard that we missed the finale with my favorite Mr. Lips (no, not Mick), Steven Tyler. Oh well. I'm not too broken up about it. I was just glad to throw some dollars into the Farm Aid donation box while continuing to feel good about going to my local farmer's market on a weekly basis.

But who am I kidding? Steven Tyler would have been cool.

Okay, Wisconsin, I love you BUT....

2010-10-01T08:39:00.002-05:00

....this is getting a little out of hand, don't you think?

Healthy Cupcakes? What??

2010-09-30T09:22:00.002-05:00

Okay, maybe not healthy but definitely healthier. I was so excited to come across this article because it lists recipes that don't include a ridiculous number of ingredients you've never even heard of. I mean, this is stuff you're likely to already have in your cupboards. Applesauce? Sure. Black beans? Yep.

Now my dilemma is which do I make first? The chocolate espresso or the pumpkin? Or pumpkin espresso? Spicy with a little kick in the pants? Sounds good to me.

Eating My Way Through the Peninsula

2010-09-29T09:22:00.006-05:00

The other day, I convinced a couple of my aunties along with my mom and one of my sisters to spend the day in Door County with me. It had been at least a decade since my last visit and with the smell of autumn in the air, it seemed like perfect timing. For you non-Wisconsinites, Door County is basically the thumb of our cute little mitten state filled with all sorts of darling shops, quaint B&B's, and a whole lot of Chicago folk we are trying our best to send back home.

I wanted to relive old childhood memories so I suggested beginning the day with a good ole' Swedish breakfast of paper thin pancakes at Al Johnson's in Sister Bay. Plus, who doesn't want to see goats on the roof of your eating establishment? This was followed by some boutique shopping which then led to the good kind of shopping: the purchasing of baked goods. My aunt convinced us to go to this Seaquist place up the road and it was indeed amazing. As one gentleman patiently cut up a variety of apples for customers to try (I'm still a fan of the Honeycrisp and the Golden Ginger), our little group purchased a stockpile of cherry pies and apple cider doughnuts. God forbid there be a shortage of pie in anyone's house this fall.

A few hours later, we found ourselves in Ephraim and well, we just had to stop at Wilson's for some old-fashioned ice cream. Although I was quite certain I wasn't hungry, I still found myself licking off of everyone else's cones. Butter pecan? Sneakers? Cherry chocolate? Yes, yes, and yes! And I was ever so pleased to find that they still put a jelly bean at the bottom of their cones at Wilson's. Aww, thanks for the memories.

Then we were off to Fish Creek where we hit a few more shops and downed some coffee as the sun went down. Although we had enjoyed a perfect, sunny fall day, the setting sun along with the chill of the lake urged us to get in the car and head home.

By the time we reached Green Bay, the ice cream and pancakes had completely worn off and someone mentioned burgers. Now, I'm not much of a meat eater anymore but I can't tell you how much I crave a burger now and then. Since we were in Green Bay, there really was no discussion as to where we would go for dinner. I soon found myself driving to Kroll's across from Lambeau Field where we indulged in butter burgers and fried cheese curd. (Had we not had ice cream just a few hours before, I'm certain there would have been accompanying chocolate malts. But apparently even we have our limits)

By the time we got home that night, I had done a mental calculation of everything I had ingested and realized that it was time for some sort of cleansing tea. I also realized I could never, ever, EVER be vegan. Butter? Cheese? And ice cream? Who am I to return to the Dairy State and not partake? I would never be so insulting. Nah, I'd much rather celebrate you, Wisconsin. I raise my curd to you. Cheers!

The Times They Are A-Changin'

2010-09-23T21:29:00.002-05:00

Not fast enough for many. But it's a step. Finally.

But why, oh why, can't I still be twenty-five? (If I had a dime for every time...)

Praying for a Frost

2010-09-22T07:56:00.003-05:00

I know I was complaining about the mosquitoes not long ago but it bears repeating, especially since it's now officially FALL. The mosquito epidemic has been running rampant throughout Wisconsin all summer but come Labor Day, most of the state seemed to be in the clear. However, the area in which I live is where the last of them are congregating for a series of final pre-frost parties.

Never in all of my years in Wisconsin have I seen such a plague. I recently visited a neighbor and upon my arrival, she yelled at me to run to the door, lest I be attacked. I was barely inside her house when she slammed the door behind me. I think we were both panting.

"It's like a zombie movie!" she complained. "Just when you think it might safe outside at high noon or whatever, you finally creep outside and then wham! They come out of nowhere for the kill."

She's right, too. Not only are these things zombie-like in their attack methods but they have seem to have mutated, now carrying super strength abilities to bite through clothing. I kid you not. The other day I was outside for five minutes in a jeans and hoodie (because that's how chilly it now is for God's sake) and in that short time, I ended up with multiple bites all over my body. What? These things can now pierce denim?!

And to make things worse, it is now fly season. Yes, those darn houseflies which usually replace the mosquitoes have now come to terrorize us alongside their blood sucking friends.

"Oh, great. Now we are on to the Amityville Horror stage," a friend complained as we drove up his driveway, only to find his house covered with flies.

So for the first time in my life, I have started to pray for frost. Yes, me. The girl who can never get enough summer. I mean, what's the point of summer if you can't get out and enjoy it?

I'm not the only one, hoping for a night of dipping temperatures. The other day, my Amityville house owning friend said to me in a nearly delirious state, "We were only five degrees from freezing the last night. Why? Oh, God, why can't we just get a frost?" And then he proceeded to pummel mosquitoes on his living room wall.

All of this coming from people who will have a good six months of freezing temperatures ahead of them. We may be generally tolerant of the elements but this is simply getting to be too much, even for us. Help! (Of course, that really means, Send cookies!)

Your Housebound Correspondent,
Rachael

Slowwwww Down

2010-09-19T12:38:00.008-05:00

Even though I did slow down enough to enjoy some tacos and the newspaper the other day, kicking it into high gear the next few days really did not help in my quest for balanced living. Friday morning, I woke up feeling kind of junky but I had all sorts of work to do so I pushed through the day, not stopping until 9pm. I reasoned that since most of my work was sedentary, it didn't really count. I'm used to my home visiting and nannying days when I was running around a good eight hours of the day. But as many of you probably already know, enough hours of sitting hunched over a laptop, employing all sorts of brain power will catch up.

This, I discovered, yesterday morning when I woke up with what felt like the worst hangover in my life. Pounding sinus pressure, a rocking stomach, chills, and complete disbelief that I had already slept for ten hours. Surely, it had only been fifteen minutes. I pried myself out of bed, the intensity of my headache increasing with every inch of elevation, put something in my tummy, and headed straight back to bed to sleep another four hours. In total yesterday, I managed a shower, a call to my sister, and a bit of email correspondence. Then, completely wiped out, I hightailed it back to bed.

And even though I knew I needed a very chill day, I found myself complaining to a friend that I hadn't "accomplished anything." Why is it that unless we are productive in the traditional sense (i.e. crossing things off of our "to do" lists, cleaning out the closet, responding to those work emails), it doesn't seem to count? Why couldn't I give myself credit for accomplishing a little self-care?

Because that's not really how American society operates. We go to work sick even though it means we will prolong our illnesses by days or weeks while infecting the whole office. We push through to meet personal obligations even when we are completely worn out and have no desire to do them. We tend to be impressed by the level of work produced by others and wonder what we can do to be more like that. So we power through the day by ingesting way too much caffeine, then wonder why we can't sleep at night, only to start the another day, feeling groggy, stressed, and unhealthy.

Ugh. Really?

Yes, in my opinion, really. Spending time overseas has made this more apparent, not only through my own observations but because I continually heard from Europeans, "You Americans are crazy with your work" or "I thought about moving to the U.S. but then I found out how you hardly have any vacation time."

Of course, I always argued that a lot of us don't have a choice. We have to deal with the fact that we only have two weeks of vacation a year and that we have limited sick days. Yet, that doesn't always mean we need to agree to another committee or another Girl Scout outing. And if we can't teach ourselves to slow down, our bodies will certainly do it for us. That's for certain. More Sudafed, please.

Stop, Plop, and Breathe

2010-09-15T07:30:00.004-05:00

Ever have one of those days when you say,"Wow, I really cannot be spending any money at all right now" and then you end up playing the Let's See How Many Times I Can Possibly Use My Credit Card In One Day game?

Yep, that was me yesterday. I wasn't too happy. It's not like I said, "Screw it! I deserve a new dress!" and then ran to the mall to commence some sort of wild shopping spree. No, it went more like this:

"Wait...how much to clean up my laptop?"

"Oh, crap...I need gas again. Already?"

"113.84, please."

I was doing my best to calm myself down with my It's only money, I have my health mantra running through my head. But on top of the stress of finances, I was a feeling just a little bit wound up about all the work I had to complete and couldn't seem to get to. My plan had been to run a few errands in the morning, then spend the rest of the day at home working. But when the geeky seventeen-year-old behind the counter said, "Yeah, this shouldn't take more than a couple of hours to clean up your laptop," I tried not to freak out. I was not expecting a two hour time lapse. What was I going to do for the next few hours when all I really needed to do involved that precious piece of technology?

Plus, I was far enough from home that going back to clean the house or something really wasn't an option. I certainly did not have the money to treat myself to a leisurely, wine soaked lunch under the sun so I tried to do a bit of window shopping instead. However, I was having some trouble not thinking about this PRECIOUS TIME WASTED and how I was ONLY GETTING FURTHER BEHIND WITH EVERYTHING ELSE I NEEDED TO DO.

The fingers started tapping. The humming commenced. (Why I do this when I'm nervous, I'll never know. I also do it when I'm happy.) As an individual who is never bored and always has a mile long "to do" list, I realized at that moment, I had no idea what to do with myself. After wandering around aimlessly for a while, I plopped down in my car and just sat there for a few moments, trying to think. What else could I possibly accomplish right now?

Then suddenly, I thought about my old field work supervisor from my grad school days. While interning in a hospital psych unit, he had taught me how to facilitate group therapy. A lot of our clients had anxiety issues and I remember him once saying during a group session, "You know, sometimes it's just about how we look at things. Traffic can be really stressful. The honking, the yelling, the waiting. I used to hate it, too. But now, after a busy day, I'm more than happy to have to sit at a red light. Finally, I can just do nothing but breathe for a moment."

Throughout the past ten years, this piece of wisdom has entered my brain on many occasions and it caught up with me while sitting in the driver's seat yesterday. I sat there and breathed for a minute, then realizing that in my tizzy, I had been ignoring body's basic needs. My stomach growling, I then decided that although I didn't need a huge French dinner, I certainly could use a little sustenance to keep me going. So I treated myself to a simple but leisurely lunch while I read the paper, reminding myself that I could easily catch up on all that work tomorrow. And you know what? I sure enjoyed those tacos.

Yah, Junior Cooks!

2010-09-13T09:43:00.007-05:00

Okay, you all know about my crush on the Nourishing Kitchen of NYC. But I ask you, how can my feelings possibly dissipate when they keep doing such awesome things?

For example, take the Junior Chef Cookbook that they recently released online. This cookbook not only includes an assortment of wonderful, simple recipes, it also includes some really helpful, core nutrition information. For example, what is the food pyramid? What does organic really mean? And what is an appropriate serving size?

Now I realize this is geared toward kids but I've got to admit, I appreciate being refreshed on the definition of a calorie. Plus, I am definitely going to try out some of their recipes, especially that black bean brownie one. My most recent attempt at low-fat brownies was a serious flop, only made edible after a "healthy" slathering of chocolate frosting.

Anyway, I plan on printing this and giving a copy to my niece who adores cooking and baking. Perhaps we'll make those brownies together. I have a feeling that even though they won't be as sugary or rich as the usual ones, there will still be a race to lick the bowl.

Not a Bad Way to Start the Day

2010-09-09T07:05:00.006-05:00

A little while ago, my alarm clock began its incessant buzzing and I eventually managed to pry myself out of my warm, cozy bed to start the day. I went to the window, drew back the curtains, and sucked in my breath when hit with this view. I mean, if this is any preview of what my autumn days are going to be like, I'm totally, 100% up for it.

And as I stared at that warm light, my brain decided to hold a mini mental session of all that's good in my life right now. I read somewhere a few years back that it's helpful to sit down at the end of every day and write down three things for which you are grateful. This could be your mate or a helpful coworker but it could also be related to things you have accomplished like those five extra minutes on the treadmill. Or the supportive shoulder you were able to lend a friend. Or the clean water that is accessible to you on a daily basis. Or maybe you just need to give yourself credit for the expected and mundane because oftentimes, these are the most challenging. For example, maybe tonight I will be grateful that I got an article in on deadline (ahem). Being appreciative of every day accomplishments does wonders for the psyche.

But if I had been journaling Monday night, it would not have been about the ordinary. (This is what went through my mind in front of the window this morning.) Instead, I would have made a list of what made my three day weekend so amazing. Things like:

- Reconnected with fantastic, inspiring old friends.
- Met more wonderful people, establishing new, exciting friendships.
- Set relaxed pace and fully enjoyed my time rather than rushing around trying to see each and every single friend of mine.
- Took in more of Wisconsin and felt a true appreciation for all it has to offer.
- Managed to avoid Alterra when laptop stealing gunman chose to visit. (Okay, I probably shouldn't joke about that one.)

And as always:
- I'm healthy, loved, and loving.

Hmm, maybe it's okay to start the day with all you are grateful for, too.